Don't Play...

If there is one thing I hate, and that's to be pranked. I can take a joke as well as the next person, but some people just go too far with the comedy.

With the slight decline in temperature, we have been outside a lot more than usual. My man and I are letting one of his brothers use my back yard to throw a party for his birthday Saturday. Then we will be attending a cookout at my aunt's house for Labor Day. I love getting together with my peeps, even though they can be a bit much at times...

We(my man, 2 of his brothers, and their lady friends) were sitting outside close to the pool, going over the 'particulars' for the party. They were already out there, and since I hate to sweat(unless it's necessary), I came out at the last possible second. I told him that he would have to control his friends and respect my space. I work too hard to have them wrecking my yard. I showed him the parts of the yard that were off limits. It's hard enough trying to grow grass in 100 plus degree temperatures without having people walk all over it. There will be no entering my house for any reason. My sun room is equipped with a bathroom(shower included), so there is no need for them to come into my spot. There is a small fridge outside, and I am lending him two coolers to store his drinks. I also have two tables that they can use for the food. He wants me to cook the food, so we are going to get it all tomorrow afternoon.

As we are walking the grounds(I say that like my yard is huge, but with the pool it's really not anymore...LOL), I see something that looks strange close to one of my bushes. I stop dead in my tracks. I am not one of those curious people who have to "check things out." When something looks wrong, I run the other way. My man noticed my hesitation and stops with me. His brother looks down and he's like"Oh snap!" He keeps walking towards it and reaches down and pulls it out. All I saw was something long, slender and lying on it's side, so you know I was out of there before you could blink twice. The two chics and one of my man's brothers was right on my heels. We were running and screaming for dear life.

My man's brother was falling on the ground laughing. I was in the house, looking at them through the French doors, trying to catch my breath. I saw my man yelling at his brother. My man came into the house and said, "Are you okay baby? It was a rubber snake. It wasn't real." His brother had put it out there. I didn't care. I wanted it out of my yard. It was his joke and he was the only one laughing.

Now that the initial shock was gone, I was pissed off. I detest snakes and I lose any trace of coherent thinking when they are in my presence. My man's brother came inside, minus the rubber snake of course, and both of his brothers let him have it. I didn't have to say a word...My man finished with, "Man sometimes you do the stupidest things. Let's just hope she'll still agree to let you have your party here." His brother turned and looked at me, and realized just how frightened I actually was. He apologized, and asked if I was okay. (WTH...I'm an asthmatic who had just had a big scare so HELL NAW, I wasn't alright!) I told him(and my man knows) that I don't operate like that. I don't do things out of spite, but to make that his First and LAST time playing with me. I'm a grown a** woman and I don't have time for pranks! I laid it on thick so he'd get the point.

Now this fool has me tipping around my own darn house, turning on lights and checking around corners. My man really feels like he is protecting me but truth be told, if a snake were to come out, I would leave him standing right there if he chose to stay...I love him but dang. He knows how to run! He's not afraid of them though... Every time i think of him and that darn toy snake I get mad all over again. What grown man in his right mind would pull some stupid mess like that. I hope the chic that was here with him was taking notes...

Don't you just hate it when grown a** people have those childish moments?

Who's The Crazy One

Just when everything was peaceful in my life I had to open up a can of worms. I hate drama but it loves me to death!

I have a friend, we'll call her Slim. She said a long time ago, that any man is capable of acting a fool, you just have to bring it out of him. My question to her was, "Why would you want to?" She just gave me a develish grin. She attracts the craziest guys, so I have come to the conclusion that she too is crazy. She does things to them to make them react. Most of the time, in a negative manner. She is the type of woman who HAS TO have a man in her life at all times. She jumps in and out of relationships, and they never seem to work for her(big surprise). She is very needy...She needs time...She needs attention...and she needs a man to make her feel good. The girl has issues.

Despite the fact that I know she is crazy, I am still cool with her. (Now who's the crazy one?)Being that I hadn't seen her in a while, and my sessions with the teen girls have gone back to once a week now that school has started, I decided to hang out with her. BIG mistake!

We decided to grab a bite to eat (since I worked through my lunch), and then I was going to ride with her to run a few errands, and then she was supposed to take me back home so I could finish my work for the day. Now I'm a ride or die chic for my friends, when they are right, but with her you never can tell. We had a nice, quiet meal, so I felt the day would go by smoothly. Boy was I wrong. We are riding down the street, and this chic pulls up next to us on the driver's side. The chic on the passenger's side of her car rolls down the window(mind you that my we are in a convertible) and hurls a Route 44(the big one) slush from Sonic right at my friend. The cup hit my friend in the side of the face and that s*** went everywhere. All over her, all over me, and all over the car.

I was speechless. With her right hand on the steering wheel and her left hand holding the side of her face, my friend takes off behind this chic's car. Here we go....

Not knowing what would happen next, because of the way they were driving...if we didn't die in a car crash or get pulled over by the cops, I knew there was sure to be some drama to come once we stopped.

As most of you who have been reading my blog for a while know, I don't back down from a fight, but this time, I did not want to fight. Number one, because me and this chic are cool, but not to the point to where would fight for her. Number two, there is no telling what my friend did to this girl to make her so upset. This was her mess, not mine.

We pulled into an old abandoned car wash, and they both stopped the cars. I looked at the other car to size up the situation. There was only two people in the car, the driver and the passenger, who had thrown the cup. So I knew if I had to fight, it would be fair. But I didn't know if they had weapons are whatnot, so I was still a little hesitant. I was not willing to put my life on the line for my friends mess! My friend and the passenger in the other car both got out the car charging towards each other. I looked at the driver in the other car and she looked at me. We had a mutual understanding without ever saying in a word, Their mess, their fight. She didn't move and neither did I.

My friend punched the chic in the side of her face, and it was on. Still the driver of the other car and I watched them, then each other. After we let them rumble for a few minutes, the girl got out of the car. Dang! All I could think in my head was, I am too cute for this s*** today.

The chic was trying to break the fight up, so I got out and helped. We managed to get them apart. Through obscenities and a whole lot of swinging, I managed to get my friend in the car. This time I took the wheel. I knew the fight between them was far from over, but I was finished!

I started driving towards my house and my friend was like, "I thought we were going to stop by the mall." WTH? I said, "Are you serious? Look at your face. Look at our clothes. Look at your car!" She looked in the mirror and winced at the sight. That chic got her good with that cup. I said through muffled laughter, "Girl, "You need to learn how to duck."

She told me the story of how she and the chic are both dating the same dude, and both of them feel like he should leave the other alone. So instead of them confronting the guy or just leaving him alone, they are fighting each other. I just looked at her and said in my nonchalant way, "That's some stupid s***!" I could tell she was pissed at my sarcasm. She rolled her eyes and I gave her a look that said, "Don't make me start where that chic left off." She didn't say anything for the rest of the ride back to my house.

When we got to my house, my man had just walked in the door. He saw my friend holding her face. My hair was pulled up in ponytail, and we were both covered with big red spots(from the drink the chic had thrown). He looked puzzled, but he just cam in, said hello to us and didn't ask any questions. I got my friend an ice pack and sent her on her way. She won't be seeing me for a while. Just because you don't see people for a long time doesn't mean they have changed, they just find new drama to get into. Hopefully one day she'll grow up. Until then, she can scratch me off her friend's list...

I took a shower and had to wash that sticky mess out of my hair. On the way to pick my daughter up from her dance class, I told my man the whole story. He laughed and said, "You are always getting yourself into the craziest situations." I couldn't say anything because I knew it was the truth.

Have you ever seen anyone fight over the stupidest thing?

Isn't it crazy when two people fight over a mate, when they should be confronting that person for playing them in the first place?

After this, I couldn't help but as myself...Who's the crazy one? My girl because she's crazy and we all know that, or Me for riding with her when I know she's nuts.

Happy As A Lark...

There was something different about him yesterday. He walked a little taller, with his chest stuck out a little more than usual. His stride was proud, with a taste of happiness. He just kept looking at me and smiling. What was he up to?

What could it be that had him so happy? Everything around me seemed normal, so why was he so happy all of a sudden? He came in, turned on some music, and he started dinner while I helped my daughter with her homework ( and it was my night to cook).

After dinner, we all watched a movie, and my daughter was off to bed. Then he did the dishes ( I am still in awe), and ran a bubble bath for the two of us. After our bath we talked, and kissed, and cuddled...but no sex. It would have spoiled the moment. We just enjoyed each other.

I had to ask him why he was so happy. He said, "I am the luckiest man alive...I have my health and strength...I am able to provide and take care of myself and my soon to be family...I have a little girl in my life that thinks the world of me...I have a woman that loves me more than life itself...and I have family and friends...What more can a man ask for?"

You know I can never just let things be, so I had to dig deeper. I said, "But you have had that for a while, why this, why now?"

He told me that one of his colleges was going through some bad times. His wife had left him for another man and took everything, and he had been talking to a couple of guys in the office about the whole ordeal. He said he had even attempted suicide, but decided against it. He said that talking to that guy made him realize just how good he has it... and he never wants to lose it...so he'll do all he can to keep it.

We enjoyed each other for the rest of the night. He sang me to sleep...He sang our song until he could sing no more. I fell asleep with him holding me, and woke up with his arms around me. It was a wonderful feeling...

It's the little things that make me happy...That keeps us close...That makes me love him so much...I love the quiet moments when we are lost in each other...

Isn't it great when they remember the little things that made you fall in love in the first place?

Don't you just love the times when they do all they can to make you smile?

Like Mother Like Daughter...

Let's have a moment of silence for the eight year old little girl that will be walking out the door today in a $200 pair of shoes, with a $250 back pack, and a $150 outfit, all purchased by her father(with his crazy a**) , because I had to take about $5 off her behind last night before she went to bed. She had a fit because she had left her new back pack and shoes at her dad's house. Do you know that he got out of his bed to bring them early this morning. I hope that a** whopping was worth it. I believe in buying my child nice things, but for a kid that is growing like a weed, I refuse to spend that kind of money. Her dad says, "She'll only be little once, and we might as well enjoy it while she's small." I say, "When she's older and responsible enough to take care of her things, then I'll start spending my money on her...until then, she wears what I buy!"

My kid is spoiled rotten when it comes to getting things. She's not a brat. She is very well behaved, and knows how to act in public places, but she is slick as can be when it comes to getting her way. Especially with men. My mother says she learned from the master...

The people around me need to start having kids because they spend entirely too much money on her. Between my family, her dad's family, and my friends, she has everything she wants and needs...and it's becoming a bit much. I have been through this before...This is a never ending battle with me. She is a little girl that knows exactly what she likes and finds a way to get it. I must say, her sense of fashion is on point , but dang.

My man has fallen into her trap...As long as she does well in school , and does all of her chores around the house, the word no is not in his vocabulary. She's smart too. She doesn't ask him for things. She mentions the things she wants to me, while he's close by. By the next day, it's hers.

She is too smart for her own good, and no one sees it but me, and my mom of course. Do my daughter and I posses a similar trait that was not passed on by genetics? Maybe what my mom says is true because all the men in my life seem to have no problem doing what I ask... I told my child she better get a good education and get a good job because she's going to need it to keep up with herself...

For the most part, I have a way with people. Especially guys. Most of my friends are males...My (male) boss loves me to death...oh my goodness, could it be? I don't think it has anything to do with looks, does it? I was taught to treat people the way I wanted to be treated, and that's just what I try to do. Maybe I have passed the torch on to my child. Have I been blind to the fact that I have been doing this all my life?

When it comes to getting things in this world from other people, do you think that looks outweigh brains?

I can afford the things I want because I got an education and I went after the job I wanted, so that I would be able to by them. Even though most of the time, I don't end up spending my own money on the things I want. Hmmm. But do things really come easier/harder for people because they look a certain way? Have I been blind all this time?

Aren't we supposed to use what you have to get what you want...to a certain extent?

My Spontaneous Man

I had a wonderful time yesterday. I started with a morning of bed rockin' and ended with a night of bed rockin', so you know it was good! Blogging was the farthest thing from my mind yesterday, but I'm back! Normally, I am up early enough to make breakfast for my family before they get out in the mornings, but I usually throw something together quickly. Yesterday, I made a big breakfast, so my man knew something was up. He stuck around for a while... Diva, Softspoken, and I had a great time. We had the first appointment at my friend's full service salon, so we were looking lovely, feeling great, and we had time to spare. We went shopping and then went out to lunch. After lunch we made it back to my place and I had a little something waiting for me.

I am a sucker for calla lilies. They are my flower of choice. There was a card attached and it read, " After a day at the salon, I know you're Hott as can be. For your next surprise, meet me at 3." My friends said their awwwwes and we said our goodbyes. We all knew my man was up to something good, so I had to hurry and get dressed so I wouldn't be late. I called and got my daughter's dad to pick her up from school and keep her for the night. It was on now! When my man makes spontaneous plans, he always chooses things that are kid friendly just in case, but I wanted some alone time.

My man left me the address and directions of where to meet him next to my flowers. I showered, got dressed, and headed out the door. After driving for a while, I started to call him, but I didn't want to wreck his flow, so I decided against it. For the first time, I enjoyed not knowing what would happen next...

I arrived at the lake and drove around until I saw his car. I parked next to him but there was no one in his car. I got out and there was a note for me under his windshield wiper blade that said, "Come down to the docks and look for a Dove, standing next to it will be someone you love." The name of the boat was The White Dove. It was a pretty big boat. I am not big on being on large bodies of water, but what the heck...you only live once. I have been on cruises before, but I prefer to fly to my destination.

My man had rented the White Dove for a day. He was standing there with that million dollar smile, talking the man that would be driving the boat. Then he turned and pointed to me, and said something to the man. They both looked at me and smiled. I can only imagine what he said...When I got to him I looked in his hand. He handed me medicine for motion sickness...He knows me too well...

We stayed out there for hours....talking, laughing, and just enjoying the view. It was so peaceful. I would have never thought to do something like that. That's why I love him so much. There is always a new experience....a new day.

The inside of the boat was lovely as well. We enjoyed it just as much as we enjoyed the outside.

When we got back home, we ended the day with me thanking him over and over again...

Have you ever had anyone in your life who loved giving you pleasant surprises (whether big or small)?

When was the last time you had a little spontaneity in your life?

A Day WIth A Diva

I am so thankful that I don't have to leave my house to go into the office on a daily basis. I am glad to be out of the loop in the office...I heard enough yesterday to last me quite a while. Hopefully I won't have to go back in there anytime soon.

In other Luvin' Me news...I have decided to let a seamstress make my dress. It just makes sense, and I know it will be beautiful...Also, Diva has issues again. He has the worst luck with men. He finds them, dates them for a while, and just like that, they're gone. He is hurt and of course I am gonna be there for him.

This last guy didn't cheat on him. He was just never there for him when he needed him, and always had an excuse for everything. My boy is just a magnet for unavailable men...Whether physically or emotionally, they are always unavailable in some way. They are good at masking their unavailability too. They act like they are really into him...Spend lots of time with him...and then start making excuses as to why they can't commit to him.

I don't have any answers for my friend at this point. Maybe it is something within him that turns them away...Maybe he just keeps hooking up with deadbeats...but All of them can't be bad, can they? I have so much work to do today, that I really can't deal with the situation, so I will invite him over tomorrow since he doesn't have to go to work, along with Softspoken and I, and we'll have a Diva's Day. Plenty of pampering, shopping, and talking, whether he likes it or not(and I know he'll love it...he loves the royal treatment...He is such a diva). We'll get started early. I'll make them breakfast. He loves it when I cook for him. He says it makes him feel like he's back in his mother's kitchen. I don't like to toot my own horn , but I have been known to throw down in the kitchen. Believe me, I know it takes a lot more than "the physical" to get and keep a good man. It also takes more than brains. My man has never said to me, "Ooh baby, come over here and give me some of that intelligence"... Or..."Baby I'm starving, can I have some of those beautiful eyes." You have to be able to work it from all angles to keep him coming back for more. I keep him on his toes at all times, and he does the same to me.

Even though my man has been off work, it seems like he has been busier away from work than he is on the days that he goes to work, so I'll give my evening to him and my daughter. That will be my chance to get enjoy the people I love...All day long.

Do you feel that it is something with a person that attracts them to certain types of people?

It's kind of confusing because how can birds of a feather flock together if opposites attract?

Do you feel that you are an enabler...allowing certain people to come into your life just to crush you?

Do you feel that you try to fix people that you know are already broken?

I Don't Want To Go!

I have a couple of grown a** people in the office acting like kids, so I have to go downtown to the office today to intervene. I'll try to post later, depending on how long it takes me to handle the situation...

To think, they actually want me to leave the comfort of my home and go into the office. What is wrong with these people? LOL...

Guess it's time to go earn my money. Until next time...


UPDATE:


Unfortunatley, I had to let one person go, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. I hate to see people out of a job, but when they have to call the boss in, there has to be results!

I just posted the job on my company site so we'll see how many interviews I have by the end of the week. The pay is pretty good so this should be interesting. That just means that I'll actually have to go to work! Dang!

A Relationship of Convenience

Now I am not a preacher, and I have never been one to force my religion on anyone else. But yes, I'm a believer, and my relationship with God is a personal one. Only he can judge my life. I am far from perfect, and I sin, but I am thankful everyday..

Why do people choose hard times to be the basis of their relationship with God?

They are what I call Convenient Christians...They only call on him when they need him.

We all get upset when people call us for things, all the time. Never saying thank you, never showing appreciation...But some feel it is okay to pray and ask God for help when they are in trouble, but they don't acknowledge his presence at any other time...

I had an experience on Sunday that left me in awe. A friend of my mother's has a son who is now a minister. It is so hard for me not to judge him because I know him very well, and he is still doing the same things that he used to do. This I know, for a fact. He is the father of my cousin's oldest child, but he denies the fact that he is the father. We all used to hang out together. His parents didn't want him to be in a relationship with her, so they snuck around. We were young. He was her first everything. She says she knows for a fact that the child is his. But she loved him very much and didn't want to ruin his perfect image, so she never pursued it any further. She still loves him... He does nothing for the child, yet he leads a congregation of people.

There is a young woman in his congregation who is claiming that she is pregnant by him. He is denying this child as well. That was the reason they came by. They wanted to talk to my parents about it and ask for their opinion. I can't help but believe that the child is his. I know I wasn't there, but he has done it before. His mother was crying and upset about the whole thing. They act like he can't make a mistake. We didn't say much while they were there. We just let them talk. As soon as they left, my brother was like, "He knows that's his baby. You could tell by the look on his face. Being a minister doesn't make him exempt from being human." If he did it, he needs to step up to the plate and take care of his kid." I sat there silently. No one in the family knows he is the father of my cousin's child except my cousin and I. The truth will come out in the end, hopefully...

As I mother, I know that my child is not perfect, and she may make mistakes. I accept that, and I am willing to help her work through them. But some parents think that their kids can do no wrong. It just ruins the kids in the end, and teaches them how to be good liars...


Why are so people so quick to point out the mistakes of others, but cannot see their own?

Hello...

My man and I are hanging out all weekend...starting today. I plan to do nothing but eat, sleep, and well...you know... all day. I'll probably hit up a couple of blogs though...You know I can't stay away too long...

Just wanted to stop in and say hello...

Have a nice weekend!

Something Is Wrong...

I was sitting at my desk, waiting patiently to talk to him...It was mid afternoon and I hadn't heard one word from him all day... I mean, I talk to him so much( and I hate the phone) that it seems abnormal that I haven't had one conversation with him since he left for work that morning....So I called his office. He were in a meeting. But his secretary didn't answer the phone...I didn't know the voice on the other end...and I don't like not knowing anything...

A few more hours passed and by now I was starting to get a little worried. Where is he? Why is there this strange voice answering my calls? Why is his secretary not answering her phone either? I called his cell phone...the voicemail picked up on the first ring...Hmmm.

So I got in my car and made a trip to his office. At this point, I didn't know what to feel. Worried that I couldn't find him...Upset because he were not returning my calls...Curious as to why he and his secretary were MIA ( I think I've watched too many movies)...I guess I felt nothing and everything at the same time..

His car was parked in it's regular spot, and everything looked normal. So I walked into the building. When I reached his floor, I saw a few of his colleges that have attended our parties. They greeted me with a smile. They seem normal, but why was I in a silent rage when I got to your office and there was no one in your secretary's chair? My heart was in my stomach when I walked in your office door. I was expecting the worst, but hoping for the best. No one was there...But where were you? Both of you...

I walked back out of the office and noticed a desk next to your secretary's that I had never really paid attention to. I guess I had no reason to. The lady smiled and said, "May I help you?" It was the voice from the phone call earlier . I asked if she had seen you and she said that you had been gone for several hours. You and your team had left for an early morning meeting and never returned, so she was a little worried herself.

I sat there for a moment, not knowing what my next move should be. As I turned to walk out, he came down the hall, drenched in sweat. He had an angry look on his face. His shirt was wrinkled. His tie was crooked and he looked like he he had a hard time. She looked even worse . She was sweaty, her outfit was wrinkled, she had her heels in her hand, and her hair needed some major help. There were two other people walking with you. They looked just as bad. I didn't know what to think.

I guess the look on my face said it all. The anger in his face subsided as soon as he got close to me. Even his sweat smells sweet...A smile crept across his face and he said, "Baby, you came looking for me?" I was not smiling. He could tell that I was not in the mood for play. I had to chuckle a little because they were all relieved that I was there. They said that you had talked about me non stop all day... (Several questions came to mind after that comment...Why were they all so sweaty? Why was he sitting around talking about me all day, but no answering my calls? What was going on?)

So he just kept it moving into his office. His secretary and I, along with the other two people followed. He said, " Baby, we have been trapped in the elevator for the last 7 hours." ( No wonder I couldn't get him on his cell phone. The service always cuts off when he gets on the elevator.) We were suspended between the 19th and 20th floors. One of the cables had broken, so they were afraid to come in through the emergency doors on top, in fear that the elevator might plunge quickly if any pressure or weight was added. The power went out in the elevator, but they managed to get the emergency door on the top opened, so that we would at least be able to breathe.. The front elevator doors would not open. There were people talking to us from both the 19th and 20th floors. Trying to keep us calm and as still as possible. We had to wait until they brought in a device that would allow the elevator to be lowered slowly. So 7 extremely hot hours later, here we are." They all looked exhausted. When his boss heard what happened, he gave them all the next four days off, so they don't have to return to work until Wednesday of next week. He closed out everything in his office, picked up his laptop bag, and we all walked out of his office door.

We hit the shower as soon as we got home. Separate showers. The outside heat was just too much for me, and I needed a moment to myself. Just that quick I thought that he had sacrificed everything...It's not that I don't trust him, because I do. I just had a gut feeling that something was wrong, so I acted on it, and I was right. Something was wrong, but as usual, he was right.

After we were both comfortable on the couch, we talked for a while. I realized, the more experiences that I go through with this man, the more he proves that he is worthy of me. He said he knew that I would be worried and the whole time he was trapped he was thinking about me. When he saw me standing there he was relieved. He realized that I was worried about him just as much...

I made another discovery today... I am jealous to a certain extent. I mean, I don't go looking for trouble, but I refuse to let anyone walk all over me...

Have you ever had a gut feeling about something and had to act on it whether good or bad?

I Don't Fit....

I'm not skinny by any means. At least I don't think so. I inherited this small frame from my mother, but I have no clue where these other assets came from. I am petite, but curvaceous. I have picked out 3 dresses that I love, but either my breast or my behind have a problem with them, so I'm still looking. It's driving me crazy. If I can't find one soon, I'll have to have a seamstress make one for me( as much as I want a designer dress). I don't want a traditional gown though, so I guess that makes finding a dress that much harder...

So where do you fit in physically? Are you tall,average,short,thick,slim, full-figured, muscular, big-boned?

Do any of your body parts give you problems? (This is not necessarily a bad thing...My man loves my assets!)

The Wedding Is Off!

That's what I called to tell everyone yesterday. Not because my man and I broke up...but because our families and friends are driving us crazy with all the details...The cake, the dresses, the colors, the guest list, the reception, the planner( she is excellent, but VERY expensive)...Everyone has some type of input. Add that to a stressed out bride-to-be and you have the queen b*** on your hands. What started out as a small, intimate ceremony, has turned into a disaster. They all want to go. How did they all find out?

This wedding is getting to me. This is supposed to be our day. I am supposed to be happy. My man finally said last night. "I have had enough. I want you to be my wife but I don't want a wedding. If you want it, then I'll go through with it, but I really don't want it!" It was like music to my ears. Just like that, I dropped it all...I called to let them all know. One by one, I dialed..I simply said, "The wedding is off ." No explanation. No reasoning... We took control of our day. (We did let our parents and siblings know our intentions. My parents were cool with it. So was his dad, but his mom was furious. She was really starting to get carried away with the whole thing. Oh well!)

So now my man and I have chosen an undisclosed location to get married. We are going to buy tickets for our parents, siblings, Softspoken and my man's best friend and that's it! The tickets will be given to them the day before we leave...End of story!


I feel so much better. With that off my plate, I have more time for me!

Have you ever made a quick decision that turned out to be the best thing for you?

Whether it involves, love, work, finances, or simply your well being, you have to take charge of the things going on in your life!

A Kodak Moment

My weekend was very relaxing. No stress. No drama... But you know that doesn't last very long in my world.

Being that the company I work for has been around a while, it is full of "good old boys."

My man and I attended a picnic for one of our largest clients over the weekend. There weren't many people there that "looked like us". We still enjoyed ourselves though. Imagine the shock on the company president's face when he realized that the person that handles all of his business, making him millions of dollars every month, was a twenty-something black female. We have never met before. We correspond via email. I've talked to his secretary, but never to him. He never even knew my name. All he knew is that the work was done, and he saw profit when it was all over...The look on his face was thanks enough. That was a Kodak moment. Made me feel proud to be me!

When my boss introduced me to him, and told him what I did for him. He was in shock. He even offered me a job under the table. I wonder if I would have been given the opportunity if he had met me BEFORE he knew what I did for him. Of course not! But I was flattered at the offer. Although it would be a great opportunity, I don't want to give up working from home. I love the corporate world, but the comfort of my home wins every time! I'm going to call my boss and let him know about the offer today. I'm not going anywhere, but I like to see him sweat. Maybe he'll even offer me more money. I love the fact that my work speaks for itself... I called my dad while we were driving home. He said, "That's my girl! I see the good old boy got a good old surprise." I could hear the pride in his voice. He realized that I had conquered one more lesson that he taught us...Always be in a position where you are needed by someone for something... I didn't understand it at first, but it's crystal clear now.


Isn't it crazy how people are always out for themselves?

Why are people so concerned with what you can do for them, but oblivious to the fact that you may need them too?

Just a Little Appreciation

Yesterday, my teen girls and I did an Appreciation exercise. These girls have been programmed over the years with so much hate and distrust toward people due to the circumstances that surround them, they really never take the time to see the brighter side of life. That's my purpose. To show them that things can and will get better with a lot of hard work, and good use of the resources that are out there. So with that, I told them to write down at least one positive statement about each person(or group of people), they appreciate...in their lives. My name even came up in a couple, and the things they said about me made me feel really good. By the end of the session, they were all smiling...Heck, I was almost in tears...

This post is dedicated to all the people I will be cutting off for a while. I have to be stress free. I know there will always be something, but when those "somethings" don't understand that you need a little time, you just have to step in a TAKE time for you.


I have so many people in my life to be thankful for....I know I have said many of these things before, but this is just heavy on my heart today and I have to let it out!

Even though I didn't write it down last night. I have an appreciation list as well...

I have a happy, healthy, well-behaved child...

I have a parents who have loved me unconditionally since day one, and no matter what I do, they love me in spite of...

I have a brother that would give me the shirt off his back if I needed it...even if I didn't need it and just wanted it, it would be mine.

I have friends that despite the drama they bring into my life, they bring me so much joy and support as well...

My number 1...my man...Words can't express what I feel for him (I'm afraid if I start typing what you mean to me, I'll never stop)...

Softspoken...my best friend...Always shining a positive light. Even when people criticize you about your sexuality, you show them that it has nothing to do with your personality, and you "out shine" them every time.

Ambitious...You're so strong, and you go after your dreams with a vengeance. Thank you for being such a good friend all these years. I admire you...

Diva...With your outlandish ways and your presence, you keep me wondering and you keep me smiling...Through all the storms, we have made it. I still remember when the boys used to tease you and pick on you when we were little. You never let them kill your spirit and they learned that "just because a boy is sweet, don't mean he can't kick your a**!" As you say all the time, "Don't let the sweet taste fool ya."

Green Eyes...Even though you are the hater in the bunch, you are still a good friend. You are always there, whether it is to cast a little shade or a lot of love. I know you have a good heart...

Angel...The past few months have been so rough for you, but you have still bounced back like the true soldier I know you are. Thanks for being my girl and always being there for me...


I have a family ( aunts, uncles, and cousins), that sticks together when times get hard. Even though my cousin has put me through so many changes, I still make sure that she is okay...from a distance. As long she is living and her kids are fed every night and have a safe place to live...I'm cool...but no more. I love them all in spite of the stress they are putting me through right now...

I have said it before, and I'll say it again....Take the time to appreciate the people that are important in your life. If you never tell them, they'll never know...

Do you have an appreciation list? Who do you appreciate?

Do you think you would appear on anyone else's list?

Was It Worth It?

I talked to my crew and had them out of my place before nightfall...I said it, they understood it, and it's over...

Tonight after my session with the teen girls, my man and I are going to one of E. Badu's poetry spots. The dim lighting, tranquil music, and prose are just what I need right now. There are some very talented people that come through there. They sing, they speak, they play music...it's a great experience, for grown folks only....

My daughter and her father will be gone for the next four days. He has given me so many breaks this summer. Whew! So once again I am childless!

Yesterday, my man and I went shopping. We were in the dressing room, and don't ask me what we were both doing in there...Let's just say that I was taking more off than I was putting on...But we didn't go too far...We stopped when we heard these strange noises coming from the dressing room next to us. There were only two dressing rooms occupied, and we were in one of them.

When we walked out of the dressing room, the lady that was working in the department turned red. ( If I was gonna be doing something in the dressing room, I would be discreet...dang!) I guess she thought that we were making the noises. Then we all heard it again. It sounded like someone was straining. We stayed in the area because we were curious to see who came out. There was this older lady that walked out the dressing room. Her face was red, but she just smiled sweetly and said nothing. We thought it was strange...We shopped in that area a little longer, and the lady went in and out of the dressing room two more times. We paid for our things, and as we were walking out of the store, the older lady came zooming past us in full stride. She almost knocked me down. When we got close to the store entrance, she collapsed. I was in panic mode. I ran back to the counter to get someone, and they called 911.

I stayed around to make sure she would be okay. When the paramedics got there, they put an oxygen mask on her, and she was still breathing funny. They finally found out what the problem was. They started to take off her shirt and realized she had on not one, not 2, but 6 full body girdles. They cut them off of her and she was breathing normally. She had stolen them. That's why she was making all the noise in the dressing room. She was squeezing into them one by one. My man was rolling! So instead of going to the hospital, she got a quick trip to the police station. That's a shame. She got arrested for stealing girdles! She almost lost her life for some dang underwear!

I guess you can't put anything past anyone these days. I had to admit, after the initial shock(because I was genuinely concerned at first), It was funny as heck!

What's the craziest thing that you have ever known someone to steal?

What Are You Talking About?

Has anyone ever taken something that you said completely out of context? I hate that!

I was talking to my friend Angel about how tired I have been lately, and how I just need a break from everything. Now why did she feel the need to go back and tell the rest my friends that they need to stop calling me for so much, and I'm tired of them depending on me? I didn't say that. Maybe she felt that way, but those were not my words. All I said to her was, "I'm tired, and I need a break from people for a while." Sometimes my friends can be so sensitive with the things I say(even though this time, I didn't say anything wrong)...

She has turned something so petty into a monster! Now she has created a big mess for me because my phone is ringing off the hook with my friends asking me if I am upset with them...If they are asking me for too much...and so on and so forth. I wish people would learn how to listen and not just hear what they want to hear.

So tonight I will be getting together with the crew to let them know the deal. This is so unnecessary! It's actually not them. It's my family! Angel is my girl but sometimes she is a scatter brain and she speaks out of turn. On top of it all, I think this pregnancy is killing her intellect...Whew.

Don't you just hate it when other people create messes for you to straighten out?

I Didn't Think...

I have been doing things that are totally out of character for me, but why did it feel so good to do it?

First off, my man's ex...the one that I fought...the one that got arrested...the crazy b**** sent me a congratulatory card in the mail. The card was pretty graphic. To sum it all up, she basically thanked me for taking the only man she ever loved and she hoped that I had a good life with a few choice words to spice things up.

I don't like to be petty, but she is an exception to my rule. She broke all the rules when she came to my house. So in the true spirit of Luvin Me, I sent her a thank you card and inside was a one way ticket straight to hell. I printed it up myself! I know, I know....but it felt so good putting that in the mail...

Then, yesterday, I didn't feel like doing anything, or talking to anyone. I have so much on my plate right now, I just needed to get away. My family( my parents, my brother, and I) are the ones that everyone else in the family calls when they are in trouble. They say that trouble comes in threes. Well, my family has taken a triple dose of it lately.

My mind was so far gone yesterday that I really lost track of all coherent thinking. I am so used to being by myself, and sharing my life and space with no one other than my child that I tend to be selfish at times and just forget about everything and everyone around me (except her of course). Without much thought, and after hearing my aunt cry to me on the phone for about an hour, my cousins come by for money, my uncle talking about leaving his wife and two kids, my other cousin talking about the baby he has on the way by a chic that he barely knows, and so much more...I strapped my child in the back seat of my car, cranked up my India CD, and hit the road. I had no clue where I was headed, I just had to get away. I only planned to drive for an hour or so and then go home, but I lost track of time.

At the time, I didn't realize that I left my cell phone at home, nor did I care. The last thing I needed to hear was a phone ringing and someone one the other end, telling me their problems. Well, Dr. Luvin Me was out of the office for the evening. After driving for about an hour, my daughter and I stopped to eat. After we ate, we got back in the car, and kept going. I drove for another hour or so, and we were at my family's cabin.

I got there and suddenly got scared...I don't like the great outdoors. What in the heck was I doing? The fear soon subsided. My daughter parked on the couch, right in front of the TV. I sat on a barstool in the kitchen. Thinking, reflecting, and enjoying the peace and quiet. No traffic, no phones, no problems.

After about three hours at the cabin, I was ready to go home. Not one time did I pick up the phone to call anyone and let them know where I was. I started on my journey back home, mentally refreshed....Its' crazy what a few hours of solitude can do.

When I pulled onto my street it hit me. My man had no clue of my whereabouts. I hadn't talked to him since earlier that day. He had to be worried sick. Not once did I think to call him. I was really out of it...

I got to my house and there were cars parked everywhere. I pulled into the garage and was met by my family and his at the back door. He hugged me, and I thought he would never let go. He had a look of worry mixed with relief on his face. They were hugging me like I was a long lost relative. Dang, I was only gone for a few hours...well half the day actually, but you would have thought that I had been missing for months the way they were piled into my house. I looked into the faces of all the people that I cared about. All of the people that had driven me into my frenzy, and I told them that I was tired, and I asked them all to leave. There were a few puzzled looks, but most of them understood and just left.

I didn't realize that I had left everything on in the house. I left, taking nothing but my purse.

After everyone was gone, and my daughter was in bed, I knew I had to face him. I had never seen him this angry. He was livid! He stood there for a moment and didn't say a word. He just stared at me. I didn't know what he was thinking, so I didn't say anything either. He finally spoke and said, "Why did you leave without telling me where you were going?" I didn't answer. He didn't really give me time to. He continued. "How could you just forget that you have a man, and just take off without thought, or question?" I told him that I was stressed beyond the point of discussion, and I just needed to get away. "He said, "Why didn't you just call and tell me that you needed to get away? You had me so worried about you. I thought someone had abducted you and L'il Luvin and I was losing me mind. How could you have so little consideration for my thoughts and my feelings, that it just slipped your mind? What if the tables were turned, and you couldn't find me? Could you handle it?" I couldn't answer. I couldn't cry. I couldn't move. He didn't wait for me to answer. He just said, " I'm glad that you are okay. I'm glad L'il Luvin is safe. I'm glad that my family is fine. Promise me that from now on, when you have a problem, you will come to me." I still didn't speak. Didn't he realize that he was part of my stress too?

All the talk and the preparation for this island wedding. All these people around me needing money, advice, MY time. I wanted to get away from everyone. I had to tell him in a way that he would understand, without hurting him. So I said, " I had to clear my head, or I wouldn't be any good to anyone. Not even myself."

I don't think he understood me, but he accepted what I said. Then he reminded me that "me" would soon be "we", and as his wife to be, he wished that I would come to him when I needed help. That' s one of my greatest flaws. I feel like I have to do things on my own. He reassured me that I was not alone, and even when he is the cause of my stress, I have to let him know. I have to talk to him, and I have to trust the fact that he will do everything in his power to try to make things better.


He has to work this morning, but he'll be back soon. He wants to know what's going on with me. What's in my head. I'm going to let it all out. I have to. Then, as much as I hate to, I have to let go of my family for a while. If I don't, I'll in in the nuthouse! Softspoken was ringing my doorbell at the crack of dawn this morning. He gave me a piece of his mind in the worst way. After he said what he had to say, he hugged me and asked what was wrong. I told him that I was fine. He knew better, but I couldn't risk my man getting upset at me for telling Softspoken all the things that I didn't tell him. After my man left, I let it all out, and I feel so much better. I should have called my best friend in the first place, but as I said before, I was not thinking at all. I know my man would be upset...but some things are better left unsaid. I can't tell him that all I needed was to talk to my friend.

I love my man, without question...But I share something with my best friend that is so special. He has a way of making everything better in my life. I hope I never get to point to where I have to choose between the two of the. I couldn't do it. I will tell him why I just ran away from everything though...

To answer his question, I would be upset if he did the same thing to me. So in all fairness, I have to consider his feeling above everyone else's. I have to give him the same respect that he gives to me. This time I ran away, and when I came back, I had more on me than when I left....But we will be taking some time off very soon, just to get away.

Have you ever just needed to get away?

I know my method was extreme, but have you ever just took matters into your own hands and did what you had to do for yourself?

I Feel Good...

I had so much fun hanging with my dad this weekend. I spent Friday and Saturday night at their house. He and I got up Saturday morning and went to breakfast, like we used to when I was younger. We laughed and talked about old times...I forgot how much fun the old man can be. Then we got up Sunday morning and went to church. Service was great. It had me feeling happy all day long. My friends all came over to my parents house after church on Sunday, until it was time for us to go to the Circus. I think my friends had more fun at the Circus than my daughter. They are a mess.

My dad is so funny. He has been around most of my friends since we were kids and the others since high school, so he knows them all very well. He was cracking jokes on everyone in the room. He doesn't bite his tongue either. He says exactly what's on his mind, but everyone knows it's all in fun, so they don't take him seriously. He is not cruel with his comedy. He says things that are actually funny, not mean...He reminded us of all the things we got into when we were young. He had us laughing so hard we were almost late for the show.


After the Circus, I enjoyed the rest of my quiet evening with my little family. I missed them so much this weekend. My daughter has been gone with her dad, and I had been away from my Boo since Friday, so after my daughter was asleep, we had to get reacquainted...I could tell that he really missed me. He lit the candles and put on some old school R&B. I heard some songs that I hadn't heard in a while. We danced for a while, and sang along to the music. These are the moments that I have come to cherish. The times when we are alone. When we can just be ourselves and have a good time.

The man is too good for words....I don't know if I've ever mentioned it but, my man can sing, write music, and play the piano. His brothers can sing too. One plays the guitar. One plays the drums. They had their own little family band thing going on when they were younger. I saw tapes of them performing at church. They never wanted to take it any further, but they have the talent. As they got older, they all lost interest in performing. Until now...He told me that he had been working on something special. They wrote our wedding song. I heard it for the first time last night. It was his first wedding gift to me. I was crying so hard. I listened to it three times...I've decided that I'm not going to let anyone else hear it until after our big day. He and his brothers are so talented.

I am listening to it right now, and I have to turn it off before I cry myself into a frenzy.

What song(s) can you hear old or new, and it stops you in your tracks? You feel like you have to stop...you have to sing along...and you can remember exactly what you were doing the first time you heard it?

Dance With My Father...

Since the day we met you have been my constant protector. I have always been able to do things my way when I am with you. You taught me so many lessons that I needed to learn, whether it was with a gentle hand or a stern voice. You spent so much quality time with me...just you and I.

Where you led me, I followed. I believed everything you told me. I did the things you asked most of the time. When I went to bed at night, I knew you would be there every morning when I woke up. You gave me consistancy. You gave me balance. You taught me how to trust. I thank you for just being there ALL THE TIME then and now. You are my father, and I love you.

Yesterday I had a long talk with my father. I have always been his baby girl. Even when his baby girl had a baby girl of her own, he still treated me like I was his one and only. Another man has stolen the show, but he will never take his place.

I have some exceptional men in my life. My Dad, was the first...

This weekend, I am spending time with my father...Because he feels left out and I would never want him to feel that way. Tonight we are going dancing. He is a better dancer than I am...It had to be hard sticking around all these years. My father is a good looking, successful brother. I still remember the way women used to throw themselves at him when he and I would be out together when I was younger. I remember the phone numbers that you would throw away before we got home. I remember all the temptation. I remember all the advances...all the women. The discounts at certain stores. All the free stuff that I got. Most of all I remember the fact that you came home every night, and never once did you make my mother cry because she didn't know where you were. You thought that I would come in your room at night, just to say goodnight. But I was checking on her, because I knew what I had seen on the outside, and I was making sure that you kept your promiose to her. You never let her down... I appreciate the fact that you were and still are, the best man I've ever known. Although I know you are not perfect, I thank you for the respect and consideration you gave to your family.

To all of you that are good fathers, have good fathers, or know good fathers, love and appreciate them.

Even if you don't...Don't let the cycle be broken. Men, be good fathers to these children. Women, choose your mates wisely and be careful who you reproduce with. Every man that can make a baby is not meant to be a father...

Have a great weekend!

Hook Me Up...

Yesterday all of my man's fine brothers came to my place. They are planning a party for their parents. All of them are made from the same DNA. All fine. All gorgeous. It just makes no sense for ALL of them to look like that! Their parents' should have started an assembly line...Talk about a billion dollar business...Whew!

Diva is coordinating the big bash, so he was right there with me. His friend, Nina was there to help. They were both looking in amazement. He was thinking the same thing I was thinking. He called Softspoken to come over to help( he's very creative), and to see what we saw. I couldn't help but laugh.

I must say, I got the best one out of the bunch, considering his attitude . But they are all FINE!

Nina was getting on my nerves. She went bananas over one of his brothers. We'll call him Goldie(LOL) cause he is defiantly a MACK... He has short cropped curly brown hair with natural golden blond highlights, golden skin and eyes, and the cutest dimples. He's a cutie. But his mannerism is what makes him so cute to me. He doesn't talk much, he just smiles all the time.But don't sleep on him becasue he is a mess...

She oogled over him for a couple of hours, and then they left to go shoot pool at my man's place. Why did she wait until they were gone before she started bugging me about hooking her up with Goldie? I told her she should have hooked herself up. I don't play the match-maker game. Besides if HE was interested, he would have said something to HER. She wouldn't have to chase after HIM. She got mad when I said it, but the truth shall set you free!

I have seen the boy in action. He leaves 'em sprung! She was already sprung, and all he did was smile and make small talk with her.

I was heading to my man's place after I straightened up my house and helped get the last of the party details in order. Why did she ask if she could tag along? If you notice, most of my friends are MALES. I don't have a lot of female friends and I like it that way. It's not that I don't like hanging with females, it just worked out that way! I am not trying to add a new friend to my list.

She was kind of upset because I really didn't want to take her with me, so I called my man up and asked what they were up to. He was bragging about puttin' a whuppin'' on his brothers. I told him that Nina wanted to come over with me and he said, "For what? Doesn't she know that you're spending the night? Didn't she ride with Diva?" I had actually forgotten that fact. I told him she wanted to talk to Goldie. I could hear him smiling through the phone. He said, "he got her too huh?" I said, "Yep, hook, line, and sinker." He said loud enough so all his brother could hear over the music, " The PM has got another one." They were all laughing. The PM is a name that they gave their brother years ago because when they ladies see him they go crazy. PM is the Panty Melter....They say he can make the ladies hot with just a smile...without ever saying a word. Goldie told me to bring her with me, and he'd drop her off at home.

She was happy as heck when I told her what he said. She just didn't know... On the way over there, I told her to be cool and don't let the good looks fool her. I was trying to coach the girl. I have been around the boys in rare form, and I know how they operate. Goldie doesn't commit to anything or anyone. I told her to not get her hopes up too high, and to see it for what it is... Hanging out and having a good time. Why didn't she listen to me?

When we got there, she played it cool for a good 20 minutes, and then they were in the other room kissing and doing some heavy petting. About 30 minutes later she and Goldie left...The brothers all looked at each other when Goldie was saying his goodbyes and as soon as they were out the door, they were falling all over the place laughing like crazy.

Goldie called my man this morning to tell him about the episode. My man just looked at me and shook his head and said, "Another one bites the dust..."

Nina called me a few minutes ago while she was getting ready for work to thank me for introducing her to Goldie. ( Why in the heck are these people calling my house this time of morning?) I told her not to get her hopes up, and don't be surprised if he didn't call. She had the nerve to get pissed off at me. Oh well. I tried to save her a lot of wasted nights, waiting by the phone for a call that would never come. She said that he told her that he really liked her, and would be calling her soon. But that's not what he told his brother...She'll just have to learn on her own...

She said that she really didn't want to have sex with him so soon but he wanted to, and she just couldn't help herself...I told her, she's a grown a** woman. If she didn't want to do it, she wouldn't have. Now she's in lust and he's gone on his merry way...Oh well, her decision, her problem...

Have you ever seen a person that will do anything to make another person (that they like) happy?

Have you ever seen a person so desperate to win over the affection of another that they sacrifice their own dignity only to fail at the task at hand?

What would you have done differently in the situation?

Out of the Mouth of Babes...

I had a good session with my teen girls yesterday. Sometimes I think they teach me more than I teach them...


Why do people think that the older you get, the wiser you become? That is definitely not the truth because I know too many old fools that have proven this theory wrong time and time again. I think that wisdom comes with experience. There are a lot of wise youngsters out there.

A fools learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from someone else's mistakes....

So what do you think?

Just Chillin' With My Friends...

My friends and I got together at my place last night. It was a typical Monday for all of us, and we just needed to unwind and talk a bit. Softspoken and Ambitious brought the food so I didn't
have to lift a finger. I might fire up the grill this weekend. The first of the month is coming and you know how people get around that time. Maybe a dip in the pool and some good food will help lighten the mood in my little circle...

You know we can't get together without having a good conversation...The topic last night was sexual frustration...Everyone was giving their two cents. Talking about how long it's been...How they were looking for good sex...How they were looking for intimacy... How there were no good men/women on the market. My man and I sat there in silence. Listening to the whole thing. I really didn't have anything to say because I haven't been frustrated in a while.

So then came the next conversation. How long can you go without sex voluntarily? I had to open my big mouth. This is a subject I know a little something about. I can go for a long time without it. I have done it before...Before my man and I were sex buddies...But that was then, and this is now. The conversation was really deep. Was I turning into a borderline nymph? How big of a role does sex play in a relationship. I let them know that my relationship was fulfilling on so many levels. I'm not looking for anything. They would not let up! They kept coming at me with different scenarios and I had an answer for them all. But why was I defending my relationship? It is what it is, and I am happy with it. My man could tell that I was getting tired of the questions, so of course he took over where I left off. It amazes me how he is able to shut people up without ever raising his voice of getting irate for a moment. He got them off of us quickly. They were looking, but they didn't dare ask him another question. I tried to tell them that he had another side but they didn't believe me. Now they know. Mr Wonderful can get Mr Wonder-Crunk if he needs to.

How dependent are we on sex as individuals?

How long should you be with someone before starting a sexual relationship?

Are you into casual sex?