A Relationship of Convenience
Now I am not a preacher, and I have never been one to force my religion on anyone else. But yes, I'm a believer, and my relationship with God is a personal one. Only he can judge my life. I am far from perfect, and I sin, but I am thankful everyday..
Why do people choose hard times to be the basis of their relationship with God?
They are what I call Convenient Christians...They only call on him when they need him.
We all get upset when people call us for things, all the time. Never saying thank you, never showing appreciation...But some feel it is okay to pray and ask God for help when they are in trouble, but they don't acknowledge his presence at any other time...
I had an experience on Sunday that left me in awe. A friend of my mother's has a son who is now a minister. It is so hard for me not to judge him because I know him very well, and he is still doing the same things that he used to do. This I know, for a fact. He is the father of my cousin's oldest child, but he denies the fact that he is the father. We all used to hang out together. His parents didn't want him to be in a relationship with her, so they snuck around. We were young. He was her first everything. She says she knows for a fact that the child is his. But she loved him very much and didn't want to ruin his perfect image, so she never pursued it any further. She still loves him... He does nothing for the child, yet he leads a congregation of people.
There is a young woman in his congregation who is claiming that she is pregnant by him. He is denying this child as well. That was the reason they came by. They wanted to talk to my parents about it and ask for their opinion. I can't help but believe that the child is his. I know I wasn't there, but he has done it before. His mother was crying and upset about the whole thing. They act like he can't make a mistake. We didn't say much while they were there. We just let them talk. As soon as they left, my brother was like, "He knows that's his baby. You could tell by the look on his face. Being a minister doesn't make him exempt from being human." If he did it, he needs to step up to the plate and take care of his kid." I sat there silently. No one in the family knows he is the father of my cousin's child except my cousin and I. The truth will come out in the end, hopefully...
As I mother, I know that my child is not perfect, and she may make mistakes. I accept that, and I am willing to help her work through them. But some parents think that their kids can do no wrong. It just ruins the kids in the end, and teaches them how to be good liars...
Why are so people so quick to point out the mistakes of others, but cannot see their own?
Why do people choose hard times to be the basis of their relationship with God?
They are what I call Convenient Christians...They only call on him when they need him.
We all get upset when people call us for things, all the time. Never saying thank you, never showing appreciation...But some feel it is okay to pray and ask God for help when they are in trouble, but they don't acknowledge his presence at any other time...
I had an experience on Sunday that left me in awe. A friend of my mother's has a son who is now a minister. It is so hard for me not to judge him because I know him very well, and he is still doing the same things that he used to do. This I know, for a fact. He is the father of my cousin's oldest child, but he denies the fact that he is the father. We all used to hang out together. His parents didn't want him to be in a relationship with her, so they snuck around. We were young. He was her first everything. She says she knows for a fact that the child is his. But she loved him very much and didn't want to ruin his perfect image, so she never pursued it any further. She still loves him... He does nothing for the child, yet he leads a congregation of people.
There is a young woman in his congregation who is claiming that she is pregnant by him. He is denying this child as well. That was the reason they came by. They wanted to talk to my parents about it and ask for their opinion. I can't help but believe that the child is his. I know I wasn't there, but he has done it before. His mother was crying and upset about the whole thing. They act like he can't make a mistake. We didn't say much while they were there. We just let them talk. As soon as they left, my brother was like, "He knows that's his baby. You could tell by the look on his face. Being a minister doesn't make him exempt from being human." If he did it, he needs to step up to the plate and take care of his kid." I sat there silently. No one in the family knows he is the father of my cousin's child except my cousin and I. The truth will come out in the end, hopefully...
As I mother, I know that my child is not perfect, and she may make mistakes. I accept that, and I am willing to help her work through them. But some parents think that their kids can do no wrong. It just ruins the kids in the end, and teaches them how to be good liars...
Why are so people so quick to point out the mistakes of others, but cannot see their own?
posted by LUVIN ME @ 7:11 AM
13 Comments:
At 8:36 AM,
Ladynay said…
Wow, it's easier to be the judge than to be the one being judged.
At 8:40 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@ladynay...I guess you're right.
At 9:12 AM,
Newy said…
It is easier to say you did this you did that than to look in the mirror and say "I messed up" when everyone around you EXPECTS you to be perfect. I think his parents did him a great disservice by trying to "fix it" God is trying to teach him something. He can't keep sinning outside of the church and continue to lead the church.
At 9:51 AM,
nikki said…
the answer's already been given. you point the finger away so you won't have to check yourself. unfortunately, many of us have esteem issues that make it necessary for us to point out the flaw in someone else's shine so that we can shine brighter. it's a sad thing, but it makes it easier for me to deal with the behavior cuz i recognize the motivation behind it.
At 10:39 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@mznew...My point exactly!
@nikki...Very insightful. I love to see it when people can look within and find wisdom...
At 11:55 AM,
shereejoi said…
What goes on in the dark will eventually come to light.
At 12:05 PM,
deepnthought said…
Okay, very interesting post. I say interesting because early on in my walk, I was hit with a very similar situation, and let me everyone is right. I think also, that we get so caught up in looking spiritual and holy that, we dont live holy. We think because we carry a title that we are exempt, when infact, preachers are held to an even greater standard. My heart goes out to your cousin, and the other young lady, because a lot of times the minister will go un phased by this and the sister walks around with a big ole A on her chest ("the scarlet letter"). I see it happening all the time on so many levels.
At 12:07 PM,
Shug said…
I agree with shereejoi. The truth ALWAYS comes out in time. It's always easier to point out someone else's mistakes without looking at your own.
At 12:30 PM,
LUVIN ME said…
@shereejoi...Isn't that the truth...
@deepthought...I feel sorry for them too. But minister or no minister, that's his child. If I were in my cousin's shoes, I would have handles the situation differently, but that's her child and her choice.
@shug...Yes it's easy, but just plain wrong...
At 1:01 PM,
NegroPino™ said…
Cuz some ppl think DENIAL is a river in Egypt.
At 1:34 PM,
Freaky Deaky said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 1:36 PM,
Freaky Deaky said…
The funny thing about pointing fingers is that you always have three pointing back at you.
I've thought about this before. The obvious answer has already been said, it's just easier to put on the robe, sit in the comfy chair, and judge then it is to be in the stand with all eyes on you and being judged.
I don't think a lot of people are really all that introspective and reflective enough to look in the mirror and acknowledge their faults. Even a lot of the ones that do don't really try to do anything about it and just rest on saying "that's just how I am" or "I'll change after I've done this or reach whatever arbitrary age".
I think one of the main reasons people like pointing out the faults in others is so that they can either bring that person down to their level or bring them even lower and make themselves feel better.
At 3:07 PM,
deepnthought said…
You know, I agreeI think really, people should be held accountable for their actions. I think that it is a very powerful thing to look at yourself. And some cant handle what they are going to see.
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