Giving Thanks...

It's Thanksgiving and I'm up, hard at work...I'm trying to get finished before it's time to meet up with the fam. I have been so busy the past couple of weeks and I've been missing out on my favorite blogs...

I must say that I am thanksful for so many things. First and formost I am thankful to the man upstairs for giving me the life that I have. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love the woman that I have become. I've grown so much over the past year...My daughter, my man, my family, my true friends...I love them all. I am thankful for the comfort of knowing that even though I go through things, eveything will be okay. I am thankful that true love still exists, and it found it's way to me. I am thankful that if anything were to happen, I still have the ability to provide for my family.

Once Again, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who stops by...

Just Checking In

There are so many people in my house, but I love evey minute of it. Thank goodness no one is actually staying with me. My family and my man's family are both in town so I have been going non stop.

Just Checking In...Have a Happy Thanksgiving...

That Man of Mine...

My man took the day off so I'm sure I am in for a treat.

It scares me how well he knows me. He said that he could tell that I was keeping something bottled up...and I was. A lot of things. Nothing major, just a lot of little things that have turned into this big ball of confusion. We talked for a while last night...even about the things that concerned me about him. He was open and honest, and he shared some things with me as well.

I feel so much better...Now maybe things can start getting back to what I consider normal.

I've said it before and I'll say it as long as I have breath in my body. I am in love with a wonderful man. A man who listens when I need him to. He know what to do at just the right time.

If I could manufacture the type of love he gives to me and put it on the market, I would. It's unbelievable.

I love him SOOO much!

I wonder what he has planned...

What are you doing this weekend?

It's Just Emotions...

Some of the comments from yesterday have me really thinking about my friend...HMMM


Even the slightest thing tends to make me cry (if said or done by someone I care about.)

One of my cousin's (w/ the 6 kids) sons called me yesterday and asked if he could come to church with me. He loves to go. His mother doesn't go that often. He is fascinated with music. He enjoyed the service so much. After church we went and got something to eat. Then went went back to my house and he played video games with my man for a little while before we took him home.

When I dropped him off he turned around and hugged me so tight. He said, can I stay with you, please? I told him that he had to go home and he started to cry. Normally this wouldn't affect me because kids cry when they don't get their way. It happens... I called back later and he was still crying. I don't know why that made me so sad.

He has always had a special place in my heart because he fought to live. He had a lot of problems when he was born but now he's fine. I remember the long nights in the hospital with him. I was right there through all of them. The first couple of years of his life were rough. He is such a sweet little boy. He loves life and it shows!

I guess I'm just in an emotional state right now. Things that wouldn't normally get to me are getting the best of me lately...I hope this passes soon because I'm getting on MY nerves.

Have you ever just been emotional for no reason at all?

Keeping My Distance...

At first I thought I was just being petty. Then I thought I was plain paranoid. Now I know that I'm not crazy. She is jealous, and I had to tell her how I felt.

It started as soon as her husband moved back in. She called me everyday with something different. I, along with my other friends tried to warn her that getting back with her husband was a BIG mistake. She said that her child needed her father in the house with her and she wasn't about to let another woman have her husband. I told her if he is with another woman, then you're you're sharing him anyway. But I guess she works on her own system of logic because to me, it makes no sense.

She can't trust him, never could. The only difference is now they have a child involved in the whole situation. She is a good person, but lately, I can't stand to be around her for more than 30 minutes at a time because she starts to talk about him. I just change the subject because the I told you so song has lost its tune.

For the most part, she complains about what MY man does and compares it to her situation, which is crazy to me...For instance, she called me a few days ago and my man was out having a drink with his brothers. She kept saying things like, "Mr Perfect isn't as perfect as you think. What if he's out there with someone else."

I just let her know that I don't sit around and wonder what my man is doing every second. It would drive me crazy. I trust him. He has never given me a reason not to. If he chooses to do something wrong, that will be on HIS conscience, not mine. As long as I take care of me and do what I need to do for myself, things will be okay. I can't live for him or make him do anything. He acts right because he wants to. I don't bribe him or twist his arm.

For some reason that just added fuel to the fire. She said, "He's gonna cheat on you one day just like my husband cheated on me. Just wait."

This has been an ongoing thing the past couple of weeks. I am starting to realize just how insecure she is. But, I can't let her insecurities ruin my life. She is my friend, but before I allow her to poison my household, I will keep her at a distance. This is one of the reason I don't have a lot of female friends. So far, jealousy has been the number on reason that I have to cut them off. I don't have a lot, I just work well with what I have. I will give my friends anything that they need if I have it.

I had to tell her last night, "Just because you're unhappy...Don't try to steal my joy!"


Have you ever had a jealous friend that you cared about, but eventually had to cut off?

Rambling...

I had interviews all day yesterday, and I finally found the right person. He starts on Monday...

I've been so busy that I haven't had much time to blog, but I'll be playing catch up today...

Life is great in my world. I'm going "car" shopping a little later. I still haven't found what I want yet.

Why don't I know how to act with extra money in my pocket every month...

I am buying my cousin's 6 kids a Playstation 3 for Christmas. But it will be ONE gift for ALL of them. My man is getting one for himself along with the Nintendo Wii. He's not really into video games. He just wants them...Go figure...

Why did my child only ask for 3 things for Christmas? Why am I happy?

Why am I so giddy about getting married but I'm keeping it all bottled up?

Why does chocolate love me so much? I try to stay away from it but it keeps calling me.

Flirting is harmless...Isn't it?

There should be a weave limit...If you can sit on your braids, they're too long...

Why wear revealing clothes if what you are trying to reveal is undesirable?

Why was he wearing the same shirt that I had on yesterday at work? Why did he roll his eyes at me because I was wearing it better? Did I miss the memo?

Why did I go right home and change?

Why did I let my friend talk me into going to the swap meet with her this past weekend?

Why were the longest lines at the 3 stores that made gold teeth?

Why were so many chics dressed like it was summertime?

Why did I feel so out of place?

Why does it seem like my girl is jealous because she can't find the same kind of love that I have found?

Oh well...Just letting some things out.

The Thought Might Have Crossed My Mind...

I build myself up to get beat down...

Every time I take one step forward, the world pushes me two steps back...

I open up and love someone just to have my heart shattered in the end...

What if I quit my job and go out on a limb to take a better job, just to get laid off in a couple of months? Where will that leave me?

What if he doesn't really love me as much as I love him?

I have no clue how I am going to pay my bills, and still be able to LIVE until next week.

What if this car stops before I get to where I need to go?

Will I ever find someone that is real in every sense of the word?

It's so much easier to just stay mad than to be honest, admit that I was wrong, and work things out...

What does being a Christian really mean to me?

What if I fail after I have put so much effort into this?


All of these doubts...questions...insecurities have crossed my mind as I have made major decisions in my life, and I have overcome them all. People ask, when will this happen in my life or when will I do this? All I can say is, it has me taken all of my life to get where I am. I have been on this journey for a long time. I know I have a long way to go but I must say that I have progressed well over the years. I can't determine how my life will be. I can only make decisions along the way to try to get to where I want to be.

Change is constant, and it is the only thing that I know without a doubt will be there. For now I will enjoy my life as it is, take on trouble as it comes, and love myself enough to do what's best for me and the people I care about.

I won't end this post with a question as I normally do, most of us are still searching for answers...

Adapting to Change

I see the signs.

My closets are filling up with clothes that don't belong to me.

The other side of my bathroom is occupied.

The newspaper is delivered every morning. I don't read it that often. It depresses me.

The news is on as soon as I open my eyes.

There is someone watching everything I do...every move I make.

Dinner is always on the table.

Clothes go to the cleaners, and come back home without me ever lifting a finger.

I don't have to worry about my bills...They're paid before I can open them.

Football invades my TV on Sundays and Mondays.

The soft scent of candles fill the whole house.

My loads of laundry have gotten larger.

My grocery bill has increased.

But I enjoy every minute of it...


He finally sold his house yesterday, and it's official. They will be closing soon. For the first time in a long time, my daughter and I are sharing our space. I'm just glad he feels comfortable, and he feels like he is at home. He has his own room within the house to do as he pleases. Besides painting and a few minor decorations, I have given him the opportunity to transform his space into what he desires.


We make a lot of choices that affect us in different ways. What choice have you made in your life that has had the greatest affect on how you live your life today?

Mine was having a child. Without her I'd probably be running wild. She has kept me grounded.

Shaking Things Up At the Job

I guess, just because I don't work in the office everyday, doesn't mean that I can escape office politics. There is a new chic on the prowl, and for the purpose of this post I'll call her Double S (SS) meaning So Scandalous. Until I went into the office recently, SS had never seen me. She has heard stories of me, but this was our first time meeting face to face. She doesn't know me, but she doesn't like me.

According to my staff, SS has been giving them a hard time and making unnecessary demands. She has used what she has to get her position in the workplace. Sorry, but that doesn't work with me. You do the work, get the job done, and we can all live happier.

She had been trying to get my job for the longest, but instead she was given a different position and I got my current position which she was not happy about. I am her boss's boss..if you follow me...So she just left me alone.

She has put her boss in a sticky situation and he called me this morning. She came on to him and he didn't respond. He's happily married. She got angry because he rejected her. He wants to file harassment charges on her, but he feels like the guys in the office will give him a hard time. I told him to look at the situation...if the shoe was on the other foot, and she was upset because someone made advances at her, she would file on him in a heartbeat. Thank goodness he has a witness...

So now that he has reported it to me, even though he is reluctant to file, I have to. Being that I am his boss, I'll have to file all the paperwork and contact HR. I thought today was gonna be an easy day for me....


Why do you think that there is a double standard for men and women when it comes to sexual harassment in the workplace?

A Little Quality Time

I had to go into the office yesterday, which was a chore within itself.


The times that I do nothing with them, I seem to cherish the most...

Saturday, the men in my life(my man, dad, and brother) went fishing. I got a chance to catch up on so many things with my mother. I can talk to her for hours... Her sisters came by and it was over. Imagine a group of middle aged women, drinking wine, with a whole lot to talk about...The funny thing is, even though I am a mother, I still feel like I am twelve years old again when I am around them. The way they talk in codes and whisper when they are telling something that shouldn't be told. Some things never change.
After the guys got back I was ready to go. Those women wore me out. Go get me this...bring Auntie some of that...Run to the store and get Auntie a little of this...
They just love my man, and he loves the attention. After they ooed and awed over him for a while and stroked his ego, he was finally ready to go. My daughter opted to stay with the fam, which was fine with me!
We were going to go out, but we opted to stay in. We watched Love Jones, which is one of my favorite movies, and I pampered him for the rest of the evening, complete with a massage, and since we had already eaten at my parent's house...a little dessert.

Sunday we went to church and met up with the rest of the family. Sunday evening my man and I cooked a big dinner at my house...I don't know why, it was just the three of us. My daughter baked the most awful cookies that I have ever been forced to eat, but I just smiled and pretended that I loved them. Just the thought of how they tasted...Whew! I don't even want to think about it, it makes me light headed. The things we do for the people we love....

My daughter chose to play in her room for the rest of the evening...she has more than enough to entertain herself. That left more time for me and him...

The more time I spend with him, the more good that I see in him. Of course it could just be those golden eyes which he and all of his brother have, or those dimples, but the fact of the matter is, he is a beautiful person within. That man has a heart of gold. He knows what to say at exactly the right moment. He can change my mood with just a smile, even when I am so pissed off at him that I can throw something. He makes me look within to find the best in me...just being himself.

Real love...exists. We're living proof. I just wish more people would realize how much better life is when two people can love each other, whole-heartedly. Love really can get you through so many things.

I'm in a sappy mood just thinking about him. That confident stride makes me weak in the knees...Let me stop before I tackle him and get his suit wrinkled...

Enough about me...

How are things going with everyone? How was your weekend?

Just Wondering...

Why did Diva ask me to go out to lunch with him yesterday? Was he serious?

Why do I get pissed off if I miss one minute of Grey's Anatomy?

Why did she ask me for money to help pay for her abortion if she chooses to get rid of the child? Did she understand anything I was saying to her?

Why did he wake up so early this morning wanting some you know what?

Why did I roll over and go back to sleep like I didn't hear him?

Why do I have to tear myself out of my warm bed to get on this d*** computer for work?

Why do I need the money?

Why does he insist that we go to the cabin for the weekend and take his little cousin to keep my
child occupied?

Why did I say I didn't want to go because don't I feel like being responsible for someone else's
child for 2 days?

Why did she call me this morning to see if I'll keep my god-daughter the whole weekend?

Why did she wait 'til the last minute to ask, and expect me to drop my plans?

Why did I say no? I can keep her for one day only...

Why did she sound like she was pissed off?

Why didn't I care?

Why did the cashier at the store give me too much change?

Why did I want to keep it?

Why did I feel bad and give it back?

Why were there so many cute boots on sale?

Why did I have to buy 4 pair because I couldn't choose the ones I wanted?

Why were his eyes so big when I walked in the house with the all the bags?

Why did my child have 2 bags of her own?

Why didn't I care? (Because, I have not spent any money in a while and I needed to treat myself.)

Why did his expression change when he saw that 2 of the bags were for him?

Why am I starving, but I'm feeling too lazy to fix breakfast?

Why am I sooo not a morning person?

Why was my attitude so jacked up this morning?

Why is he in there making breakfast now?

Why does he know me so well?

Why do I love him so much ?

Why does he look so good in that black sweater and slacks?

Why do I wish I would have gotten up when he tried to wake me up this morning?

Why did he read my expression and tell me that he will be coming home for lunch?

Why am I excited already?

Why do I keep asking questions that I already know the answer to?

Oh well....

She's Human...

One of the girls in my teen group has gotten herself into a mess. She's pregnant, her home environment is very instable, and the guy she is pregnant by has no real feelings for her. He says that he knows the baby is his but he doesn't want a kid right now. He is going off to college and he doesn't want a baby slowing him down. She came to me asking what she should do, and I told her that just like choosing to have sex was her choice, the consequences of her actions must be her choice as well. She was a little upset because I didn't tell her what she should do, but I can only help so much.

There is no easy way out of this situation. If she chooses to keep the child, life will be a bigger struggle for her than it already is. If she gets rid of the child, she'll have to live with that decision for the rest of her life. She has a part-time job after school, and no money.

I can offer moral support, but I have so many other girls that depend on me. I cannot support her financially, which is what I think she wanted. She kept throwing hints. I caught them, but I played dumb. She asked if she could stay with me for a while and I told her that couldn't do that. We signed a waiver at the center that strictly forbids us to do so. All I could say to her was, I've been there and I know what you're up against. I didn't want to give her the I told you so song. I'm sure she has heard it by now.

I am disappointed but it's life. Things happen. She has a lot of potential but a baby is a huge responsibility. I don't think she understands what is in store, but she will soon.

What would you do in this situation?

Party At My Place...

I really don't like to celebrate Halloween. I never have. My parents weren't into it so I guess it was never that important to me. My man convinced me to get into this year. I had a lot of fun.

Yesterday, my man and I spent the whole day with my child. We started off at her school. I was the "room mom for the day". We planned things for them to do, read 2 Halloween books, and had some cute little Halloween snacks. I ordered pizza for their lunch. Her dad along with a few other parents showed up when it was time for their party to lend a helping hand. I must say, kids ask so many questions. They know me and my daughter's dad and they were so curious to see who the strange man was in their class. He explained to them that my daughter was special because she had 2 dads who take care of her.

I don't believe in taking my child trick or treating so we had a Halloween party at my house last night. We planned it a couple of weeks ago. All of my friends, my brother, and my man's brothers helped out. Diva, Softspoken and I did all the decorations. I think the adults had as much fun as the kids. We had a scary maze set up in the garage. We had fun games set up inside...Spider Bingo, Mummy Chairs (musical chairs), face painting, Halloween Trivia, and so many more. It wasn't really big, but it served it's purpose for a bunch of kids all under the age of 9.

After spending a whole day entertaining children, I am so happy that I only had to keep one there and I could ship the rest of them home to their parents!

As much as I love my man and my child, I will be so happy to see them walk out the door, get into his car, and go off on their way to school and work.

I need a ME day today...badly!

What did you do for Halloween?