Fun With Friends

To say that I had a great weekend would be an understatement. I love my friends, but I must say, Diva is acting strange.

I noticed it Friday evening. We all met at Ambitious' club/bar for drinks. We had a great time, laughing and talking as usual, but Diva kept watching the clock the whole time. Then, out of the blue he says, "I have to go, I'll see you all tomorrow." That is not like him at all. He is always the last to leave and loves to have a good time. I didn't think much of it. He really doesn't have any set working hours so I assumed he had an early morning client...

Saturday, we decided to get together at my house. We played pool. The guys played video games, the we played our usual Luvin' Me Signature Games. We had fun as usual. Again, right in the middle of a game, Diva darted out the door.

Sunday, we got together to plan our annual vacation. We are planning trip to Puerto Rico at the end of May. Our first payment which covered our airfare was due last week. We made sure everyone had their payments in and we're throwing a couple of Vacation Parties to cover the rest of the trip. Sunday while we were all talking, he got up and walked out of the room to answer the phone every time rang. It rang like 8 times in one hour.

Finally, I had to ask him what was up. All he said was, I'll talk to you about it very soon, and just like that, he was gone.

He had a strange look in his eyes and I don't know what to think. I hope he's okay...


Don't you just hate it when people leave you hanging?

Ready For The Weekend

I have a fun filled weekend planned with my friends. We haven't being hanging out much lately, so we all have to catch up.

I have been so out of the loop. It's crazy, but I'm kind of happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I missed the drama as it happened...Sad because I missed my friends in the process.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm sure I'll have plenty to tell when it's all said and done. Angel with her so called husband...Green Eyes with his jealousy...Ambitious driving the ladies crazy...Diva in the middle of some mess...Softspoken and his new relationship...My scandalous friend and his double relationship with both a man and a woman...and last but not least, my man, finally getting a chance to relax and enjoy himself.

It's crazy but, every time I look at my friend(who plays BOTH fields) and his girlfriend, I am speechless. I really don't say much to her. I have no idea what to say. I feel like anything I say towards her will be judgemental or negative, so I just keep my thoughts to myself. But she talks to me. I bet she's thinks I'm kind of crazy, but it's okay. I think the same thing about her but for different reasons...


Have a Wonderful Weekend!

He's Tripping, But you Can't Cut Him Off...

My man is going through some things with his family. Ultimately I know that I have to support my man, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't tell him he was wrong.

His younger brother Goldie, as I call him, has gone too far this time. It is very hard to get my man upset, but once he's there is even harder to get him to think things out reasonably.

I didn't want to get into the whole mess, but circumstances have put me there. With all the things going on with my man's mother, he and his brothers have had to step up to the plate and help their father. Goldie is the only one who can't seem to get on track. He is very selfish at times, and he says that he can't understand why he is being put under so much pressure.

Goldie feels that he shouldn't have to do anything but come and visit his mother. With his mother not working, and his father taking off a lot to be by her side, medical costs, and all other bills, they are going through their savings like crazy. Even though they haven't asked for any financial assistance so far, we try to help out with the little things they need.

Everyone has sacrificed except Goldie. Even the small things that he his asked to do, he just can't seem to do it. He's spoiled and used to getting his way, but at some point he has to grow up.

I do their laundry, and make sure that his father eats everyday. My man and his other brothers handle the rest. I don't mind helping out...

My man has decided to cut Goldie off. I told him that acting irresponsibly does not constitute a reason for being totally cut off from your bother. He is thinking long and hard, and I know it bothers him because he keeps talking about it.

Hopefully he'll make a decision that he can live with...

Until next time, I'm off to deal with everything in my life right now...I hope everyone is doing well out there is blogland.

Flashback...

I Remember:

...when I could come home, and not have to worry about bills...

...when I could play all day and sleep late on Saturday morning.

...when I had to go to church all day on Sundays.

...popsicles and pickles, Lemonheads and Red Hots, and Super Bubble.

...when friends were loyal and trust was only a thought away.

...the many flavors of Kool-Aid.

...thinking that no one sexier that LL...Heck I still feel that way...

...the way the wind blew past me when I rode my bike.

...4 wheelers and scooters.

...a time when I thought my father was perfect.

...realizing that the world is flawed, and being okay with it.

...my first kiss.

...getting my first CD player...Cassette player...Record player.

...getting a VCR.

...Nintendo...Sega Genesis.

...my brother and I building our first go-cart.

...life before having a child.

...college.

...when loving someone was easy.

...when music made sense.

What are some of the things you remember?

I Need A Band-Aid For My Memeories...

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. I lounged around and worked all day. Today is a different story all together.

Bad memories are like scars...You move on, you heal...but you never forget.

This weekend, I did a little shopping. The rainy weather put me in a stale mood, so I just needed to get out of the house. As I was walking, I saw a man that looked just like Him from behind. I could feel my heart beating fast. I knew it wasn't Him. It couldn't be. He had the same head, and similar build, but he was gone. He had been gone for years.

I followed Him, but I couldn't catch him. I finally caught him when he was stopping to make a call. He was reaching for his phone as I passed him. He looked at me, I looked at him. Then came the sigh of relief. I walked passed him

For those of you that haven't been reading my blog from the beginning, here the story of him...

http://time2luvme.blogspot.com/2006/02/be-careful-what-you-wish-for.html/ (For some reason blogger won't let me post the link)

The man who once had control over me. The one who taught me so many lessons without even knowing.

I had bittersweet memories of him...

Have you ever seen a person that looked so much like someone you knew it was scary?

Just Saying Hello...

Everyone's home today. When the streets get icy, everything closes. I'm sure we'll have fun though since we actually enjoy each other.

I have had a lot of work to do the past couple of days which has left little time for anything else...I'm planning on enjoying my family for the most part. I hope eveyone enjoys the rest of their day...

How's the weather where you are?

My man is always up to something...

Yesterday afternoon, I had to go into the office. My daughter was gone with her dad for the day. When I got home that evening, the house was dimly lit with music playing. I didn't want to wreck the flow of things so I put my things down in the office, and made my way through the house to find him. He was in the shower. I quickly undressed and joined him. He was surprised and happy to see me. I teased him a little, but that was about it. He likes to be teased, so I had fun with it.

We went to dinner at this really nice place close to home. He couldn't keep his hands off me the whole time. Of course I loved it. The rest of the night was really nice as well...

We are taking this weekend as it comes...No big plans, but you never know what may happen.

What are you doing this weekend?

Stop Staring At People

Since I was younger, this is a phrase that I heard so often from my mother, but I just can't help myself. When I see something that different from my definition of normal, I have to catch myself because I will gawk at it.

I was shopping for underwear yesterday, and this lady walked into the store. I know that I am curvy, but this lady was super "top heavy" with a tiny waist. She asked if they had bras in her size which was way off the charts. Instead of her just walking out of the store, she gets upset. Instead of me minding my own business, I just stand there staring in disbelief. I know the right thing to do would have been to be compassionate for her. I had to catch myself...

My man and I were out eating the other day and the girl that came to our table spit when she talked. I couldn't help but stare at her. I could barely put in my drink order because I was looking so hard. Needlessly to say that my man and I left before our drinks made it back to the table. I couldn't help but think that she was talking to someone while she was making my drink and spitting all over my glass...

I was at the pharmacy picking up my daughter's allergy medicine and the tech said,and I quote,
Tech: You wan me ta git yo medicine out tha back fuh you can leave?
Me: Sure.
Tech: How you git yo hair to do that?
Me: Do what?
Tech: Curl like that?
Me: I don't do anything to it. It curls naturally.
Tech: What kind of hair is that?
Me: Mine.
At this point she got upset because she thought I was being sarcastic, but I really didn't know any other answer to that question. Once again, I just stared. She gave me my receipt and I left.

This lady and guy pulled up next to my man and I at a traffic light. The guy slaps the lady right in the mouth and busted her lip. Of course I just stared as she sat there holding her lip. My man touched my leg and told me to stop staring.

I'm making a conscious effort to stop but dang. All these people around me keep doing crazy things.

What makes you stare?

The Do's and Don'ts of My Life...

For those of you that are going through something, know that you are not alone. We all go through things. The difference between the way we handle our situations determines how they affect our lives in different ways. Just because you don't read about it, doesn't mean it's not there...

If someone that you care for says something to you that hurts you, don't say something harsh back. I know at the time it feels like the right thing to say, but if you really care about that person, you'll regret it later. Words are permanent. Take what they have said. Think about it. If it's true, accept that it is a part of you, whether it is good or bad. If you choose to remain the same way, and if you are happy being that way, then continue to be who you are... If you know for a fact that what they have said is untrue, let them know that it's not true. After that, leave it alone. You have done your part. Although it may be hard, let it go. Don't use up all your space, meaning, don't overflow yourself with negative thoughts that hinder positive things from happening in your life.

Don't allow someone else's opinion to control how you act or react when faced with certain situations. You must stand firm in the choices and decisions that you have made in your life. Some may be good, and some may not, but in the end it was your choice.

Don't fall into the web. It's hard to stay out of situations. Especially when people come to you with their problems. One hard lesson that I am still learning is, being a friend does not mean that I have to part of every aspect of your life. If you don't want my true opinion about a situation then don't tell me about it at all because I am going to give it you! If people bring negative things to you all the time there is obviously a reason. My reason was, I always listened to it...but I'm learning.

Be honest with yourself and others around you. I've learned that holding things in to keep from hurting the feelings of someone that I care about only hurts them more in the end. If someone has done something to you that you don't like, tell them. Number one, so they'll know. Number two, so they'll think twice before doing it again.

The chain starts with you. I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about family. Some people have good ones, some people don't. That's life. If you don't like how your family life is, it is up to you to change it for your future generations. If your parents/siblings/mates/relatives did things to that you didn't like, don't turn around and expose your kids to the same behavior. There was a point in my life where my brother and I were completely cut off from one of my aunts. Once she saw that my mother was not going to allow her to ruin her family, she came around, slowly but surely. If people value you as a person, they will do what they have to keep you in their lives. If they don't, they will let go. You just have to be ready and willing to make the sacrifice.

There is nothing wrong with solitude. Sometimes it takes being alone to truly be able to appreciate companionship. If my man would have come into my life when I was younger, there is no way our relationship would be like it is today. I had to grow and love me first before I could love him and accept his love the way that I do. ..without fault...without doubts. We all have issues to work through whether we choose to acknowledge them or not...I had to repair and rebuild my life in order to have the life that I am striving to have now. Being the way that I am was a decision that I made by myself. With no input from anyone else. No one else knows me that way that I know me.


Always remember...Take care of you! No one can ever love you like you do.

I have to remind myself...I am not now, nor will I ever be, a bad person. I am a good person who has made some bad decisions...But I am forever growing, forever changing, forever learning...and most certainly forever Luvin' Me.

Beautiful...

What makes a person beautiful? The way they look...The way they act...How they express themselves?

It's true, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But to me, beauty is more than skin deep. I think there are levels of beauty, and my mother, is the epitome of beauty to me.

My mother is a natural beauty. She has flawless skin, beautiful hair and eyes...but that 's not what makes her beautiful to me. Her spirit is beautiful. She has poise and grace. She is patient beyond measure. She has been saying something to me since I was younger, but it wasn't until I grew up that I knew what it meant. She said, "People can buy a lot of things, but they can't buy class. Either you have it, or you don't."

What I appreciate about my mother is, she never stops being herself. You either like her or you don't. Point blank. She's never rude. She barely ever raises her voice. She has taught me so much and the more I look at her the more I see that I have so much more to learn.

Whatever happened to natural beauty? With all the enhancers on the market these days, I wonder if people even know what that is anymore...

My man is a different kind of beautiful to me. He's a loving beauty. The way that he is...words can't explain. We started as friends...then lovers...now we are one step from being husband and wife...and through it all he has been wonderful. He respects people, no matter who they are or what they do. He's not judgmental. He loves without pretense. He accepts so many things.

With all that people have been through in life, it's hard to love the way that he does. He taught me how to love that way...He says, "I can't love for yesterday, I can't love for tomorrow, I can only love you the best that I can, today."


My best friend possesses the beauty of friendship. He knows how to be a friend. He always gives me just enough. Just enough space when I need it. Just enough time when I need to talk. Just enough support when I'm going through something. He has just as much respect for my relationship as I do his. He is a beautiful friend.

My brother shows me the beauty of family. We have a history. We come from the same place. He knows me better than anyone...Past experiences...Future endeavors... We share a bond that cannot be broken. My father also adds to this. He was my protector for so many years. Now he has passed the torch. He is a good man to say the least...

Last but certainly not least, my child has shown me the beauty of life. Never did I know that I could love someone so much. I would give my own life for hers without a second thought. As she grows, I appreciate her so much more. I learn a lot from her, just as she does from me. I love the way she trusts everything that I say...That's why it's important that I watch what I say to her. Words can hurt just as much a licks. I can still remember cruel things that were said to me...

This post has put me in a beautiful mood...

Getting Away For The Weekend

My man and I hosted a couple's retreat at our cabin this past weekend. I must say that I really enjoyed myself. The basis of the retreat was to bring couples closer together. The cabin has 4 bedrooms. The first night the couples were separated. Saturday night, we were partnered up.

I am no expert on relationships by far. I learn something new about me man everyday. But I have learned that getting away from things that you would normally do with the one you love, helps to either make or break a relationship. You really get to know the person you're with.

Friday night, we played a game called...Do You Know Me. Since my man and I made up the questions, we didn't play. One of the couples only got one questions right and they've been together for 2 years. They definitely need to do their homework. The next game we played that night was, Guess Who I Am. Each person was given a small basket full of letters, paper, and a glue stick. We all had to come up with six characteristics that were unique about ourselves, and use the letters to form the words on paper. They all looked like ransom notes in the end, but that was the point. In order for the game to be effective, we had to be anonymous. We then put all the papers in a bucket. Each person had to pull out a piece of paper, and guess who wrote. Since we all know each other fairly well, the game was a lot of fun. We had dinner, watched a couple of movies, and then went to bed.

Saturday night, we had food catered in. My man and I stocked the cabin with liquor before everyone came because we knew some of the couples would need it... Everyone showed their hidden talents. My man sang a song that he wrote when he lost one of his good friends. It was beautiful. There was not a dry eye in the room when he finished. Some because they knew who the song was about, and they felt the same way...others because the song was just that good...That's how his voice is. It just seems to melt all your cares away. To lighten the mood, we played music...new and old. We started with the old music from our era. We did all the dances. It was so much fun. Then we kicked it up a notch and played some new stuff. I must say that times have change. Music is not like it used to be.

You learn a lot about people, being stuck inside with them for a whole weekend. There was no drama, and a lot of love in that place...gay...straight...It didn't matter. We all had a ball!

How was your weekend?

Can You Feel Me?

That's what he always asks me...Always with a sly smile...Always a loaded question.

I can feel him more than he knows...

He has been up since about 1:00 a.m....with me. I was up working. I couldn't sleep. The house was silent. I could hear him walking through the house looking for me. First our bathroom...then the kitchen...the den...and then to the office.

He had that knowing look on his face when he stepped into my office, and he shook his head. All I could do was laugh to myself. Both knew what the other was thinking...He knows how I am about my work...I know how he is about quality time.

Up until this point, neither of us said a thing. He pulled up a chair. I had no clue of what he would do. He just sat there and watched me...FOR A WHILE. I was thinking to myself...WTH. He didn't touch me. Didn't talk. He just sat there...and stared at me as I worked. I glanced up at him from time to time.

Needless to say, I just couldn't stand it. I had to take a break...

Now I'm up and working again. I'll probably shut it down early today, to make up for lost time...

After our little break. He asked, "Can you feel me Pretty Lady?" I answered, "You know I can Loverboy." ...and I was back to work.

Do you prefer spontaneity?

Growing Older vs.Growing Up

I had to go into the office yesterday afternoon. My boss wanted to talk to me about changes that will be taking place this year. She said that he had several people that requested to work from home. One lady in particular used me in her argument. She threw in the fact that I do a very good job from home. My boss knows his employees...He knows who can handle being left alone to do their job. She is one of those people that you have to constantly remind that she has a job to do. So when my boss refused to let her work from home. She was very upset. Her second argument was, she is a lot older than I am , and she has been working for the company longer. She escalated the whole thing. To sum it all up. I had to go in. All of my work is complete. Actually I am ahead of schedule. I made of it before I took my vacation. She was even more upset by the fact that once again my work had spoken for itself.

Some people will never reach that level of maturity in which the can mind their own business and take care of themselves...


My boss made a statement yesterday that helped me reach that conclusion...He said, "Why is it that you have so many people concerned about what goes on in your office, and you're the only one there?" I thought long and hard about that statement. I could have given the obvious answer...people are jealous. But I knew what he was looking for...I simply said, "People want what they can't have."

He smiled at me and I went back home to my cozy office and finished my work. Sometimes my best arguments are the ones that require no talking from me at all. All that craziness and what did she accomplish...She still has to be in the office everyday, and I work from home...Whew...I thought she had messed it up for me!

Don't you just hate it when people try to mess things up in your life when things are going great?

Happy New Year

We've all made it through another year. No matter what condition we are in we can say one thing, we're here!

I took a much needed break form everything....work, blogging, drama...I'll have to read up on what's been going on in the lives of my favorite bloggers...

No big issues to report on my side. I stayed as far away from my everyday life as possible..but I'm back...