The Thought Might Have Crossed My Mind...
I build myself up to get beat down...
Every time I take one step forward, the world pushes me two steps back...
I open up and love someone just to have my heart shattered in the end...
What if I quit my job and go out on a limb to take a better job, just to get laid off in a couple of months? Where will that leave me?
What if he doesn't really love me as much as I love him?
I have no clue how I am going to pay my bills, and still be able to LIVE until next week.
What if this car stops before I get to where I need to go?
Will I ever find someone that is real in every sense of the word?
It's so much easier to just stay mad than to be honest, admit that I was wrong, and work things out...
What does being a Christian really mean to me?
What if I fail after I have put so much effort into this?
All of these doubts...questions...insecurities have crossed my mind as I have made major decisions in my life, and I have overcome them all. People ask, when will this happen in my life or when will I do this? All I can say is, it has me taken all of my life to get where I am. I have been on this journey for a long time. I know I have a long way to go but I must say that I have progressed well over the years. I can't determine how my life will be. I can only make decisions along the way to try to get to where I want to be.
Change is constant, and it is the only thing that I know without a doubt will be there. For now I will enjoy my life as it is, take on trouble as it comes, and love myself enough to do what's best for me and the people I care about.
I won't end this post with a question as I normally do, most of us are still searching for answers...
Every time I take one step forward, the world pushes me two steps back...
I open up and love someone just to have my heart shattered in the end...
What if I quit my job and go out on a limb to take a better job, just to get laid off in a couple of months? Where will that leave me?
What if he doesn't really love me as much as I love him?
I have no clue how I am going to pay my bills, and still be able to LIVE until next week.
What if this car stops before I get to where I need to go?
Will I ever find someone that is real in every sense of the word?
It's so much easier to just stay mad than to be honest, admit that I was wrong, and work things out...
What does being a Christian really mean to me?
What if I fail after I have put so much effort into this?
All of these doubts...questions...insecurities have crossed my mind as I have made major decisions in my life, and I have overcome them all. People ask, when will this happen in my life or when will I do this? All I can say is, it has me taken all of my life to get where I am. I have been on this journey for a long time. I know I have a long way to go but I must say that I have progressed well over the years. I can't determine how my life will be. I can only make decisions along the way to try to get to where I want to be.
Change is constant, and it is the only thing that I know without a doubt will be there. For now I will enjoy my life as it is, take on trouble as it comes, and love myself enough to do what's best for me and the people I care about.
I won't end this post with a question as I normally do, most of us are still searching for answers...
posted by LUVIN ME @ 7:24 AM
10 Comments:
At 8:52 AM,
Ms.Honey said…
Girl he loves you...it's clear in everything you say that he does for you and how he interacts with you...however we are all human (obviously LOL) and when change presents itself sometimes we overanalyze....sometimes I wish I could tell my brain to stop talking LOL
At 9:21 AM,
TTD said…
What if he doesn't really love me as much as I love him?
im glad that you cleared that up.. that you got over that.. cause i was about to say... you know he loves you just as much, if not more!
have a good weekend!
At 10:38 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@honey...I know that now, but I was going through some things at the time...
@ttd...Yep. Those were past insecurities that I had to let go of...
At 12:32 PM,
Freaky Deaky said…
The way you blog about Mr. Me (I don't know what else to call him) if he's lying then he's nothing less than the greatest player of all time.
Okay seriously though, are these just past thoughts are they or any of them current?
Hope you have a great weekend.
At 3:25 PM,
Ladynay said…
Glad you've made the right decisions to get you where you are right now. It reads to be a really good place.
At 8:29 AM,
Darbs said…
Couldn't have said this better myself...thank you for this reflection and affirmation. Very well put.
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"
At 9:23 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@freaky...Honestly, they are past thoughts.
I was talking to my friend Angel, and she was questioning me... alot...some of the questions/thoughts I blogged about actually. The one question that stuck in my head was, "How do you know that you are where you are supposed to be in your life right now?" I had to be honest with her. I told her that I had so many insecurities that I never really told anyone about, but naturally, they were there. I just decided to list a few in my post. Now that I am over them, I can talk about them openly.
@ladynay...It took some work, but I finally made it...
@darbs...My sentiment exactly!
Love the new look!
At 6:55 AM,
Anonymous said…
"What if I quit my job and go out on a limb to take a better job, just to get laid off in a couple of months? Where will that leave me?"...that's the issue i'm dealing with now...being bought out by MCK...
At 7:40 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@sarccastik...I've been there. It all worked out very well for me. Hopefully things will work out for you.
At 8:16 AM,
Shug said…
Most of us are still searching for answers...
I know I am
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