The Aftermath...

So far. So good. That's all I'll say about the little incident between the two men in my life.

I had to go into the office to check on things yesterday. People sure can straighten up fast when they start missing things. They are doing okay, but we still have a long way to go as a team...

Since the weather has been nice here, I have gotten back into my outdoor activities, but my allergies are going crazy! I have been watching my weight for the last couple of months. I just haven't mentioned it because, the more I talk about, the harder it is to stick to my plan. I have to just do it, and talk about it after my goal has been reached.

As I said, so far things are okay. I can't worry about it.

What's going on with you?

It Had To Happen...

I just sat there...speechless...

What was I supposed to say?

I'm getting married...

You knew I would tell him...

It's your fault that you chose not to move on.

You are the father of my child...

But I don't love you like that anymore.

I love him.

You took his kindness for weakness.

You disrespected him in his own home.

You thought that just because he was quiet most of the time, he had nothing to say.

You came by when you knew your daughter wasn't home.

You thought he'd be at work.

I came to the door.

I was shocked to see you.

You said you really needed to talk.

I let you in, even though I knew in my heart it was not the best move. But I thought you may have wanted to talk about something that pertained to your child, that you didn't want her to hear because anytime you and I are in the same space, she's there.

You stood there pouring your heart out.

I felt sorry for you.

I told you to leave.

You chose to stay and keep talking.

He came out of the bedroom.

He heard the whole thing.

He walked straight up to you and knocked the heck out of you without saying a word.

I was shocked too.

I had never seen him get that mad.

As you stood there holding your broken nose.

I felt sorry for you.

Your eyes were both sad and mad at the same time.

I couldn't move.

Even though I wanted to help, my loyalty is with him now.

I couldn't call 911. I didn't want him to get into trouble.

As I drove you to the hospital, I knew this was the end of us as we know it.

I tried to be your friend. You took it too far.

I know it's not over. You are always out for revenge.

Why couldn't you just let me be happy?

You've had that problem all along.

You couldn't make me happy, so why can't you just let me be with someone who can, in peace.

How will I explain to your child?

She won't understand.

We'll just have to see where this goes...

Enjoy Your Weekend...

I know I'm going to enjoy mine...

Who Cares...

After meeting with my staff and hearing nothing but complaints even though...I make sure they are the highest paid in their field...they get extended maternity & paternity leave...I got them an extra weeks vacation this year...I give them a gift card to the restaurant of their choice for their birthday...I make sure there is money in the budget so that they all will get a Christmas bonus, plus an extra bonus once they get their annual reviews if their performance deems them worthy...I make sure they get paid double time for working on weekends and they don't have to leave home to do so...I give them a choice to either work Monday or Friday from home...not to mention the countless other benefits that are only afforded to them because I care. This is money that I can pocket annually, but I choose to be good to them because they have families and bills just like I do.

I have spoiled them. They seem to think that these are things that they should have, not things that they have to earn.

Until their performance is up to par, all extra benefits for the department as a whole are being cut out. I will do this on an individual basis for the people that deserve it, although I refuse to restore all the benefits until they learn to work together as a team. For now, I expect them all in the office at least five days a week or until their work is complete. I will have to be in the office a little more, but I have to do what I have to do.

I can't believe that I allowed them to upset me like this, but they just don't know how good they have it...If they only knew how many people in the company were after their jobs for the benefits alone.

People think the grass is greener on the other side, until they get there and see that it's brown.

I can't let it stress me though. So for today...I could care less...

So, how's your day so far?

What Did You Expect?

I don't know why he got himself into this mess. He knew that the man was married. He knew that the man had a family. He knew that he would always play second fiddle...so why is he upset?

Diva is falling for his new companion, but with this type of love comes much heartache. I wish my friend wouldn't settle. I must admit, his new beau is quite a charmer, but I hate it when people cheat on their mates. I just don't trust them. I know temptation is out there. I resist it as often as I have to. For this man to be married, there had to be something there in the beginning. Diva said that he tells him that he is very unhappy with his wife. But the only thing that came out of mouth when he said that was, "He told you but did he tell her?" Diva says that when he says anything to his friend him about his home life he avoids the conversation.

As I've said many time. I try to be there for my friends when they need me, but I can only do so much. I can't make them think....

What do you feel about people who cheat on their spouses? Why do you think people cheat?

I Love That Man!

I absolutely love my dress...The way it looks on me. The way I feel in it....I just love it!


I love...

The way he looks at me when I walk past him.

The way that he is aroused by my touch.

The scent that he leaves on his pillow.

The way that he barely moves in his sleep. He sleeps so peacefully.

The way he bites the corner of his bottom lip when he's thinking.

The way he has a little more pep in his step the morning after we've had a long night...

The softness of his lips.

The way he gets a little irritated when I don't pay attention to him. He'll do small things to try to distract me. The more he does, the harder I try to ignore him. Then we both end up laughing and he wins the little game because I am distracted.

The way he never lets me forget that I am loved.

The way that he never allows me to feel unappreciated.

The way he comforts me just when I need it.

The way he gives me a little something extra at the right time.

I had a great weekend with my man. The weather was pretty nice, so we got out and enjoyed it. I'm sure that we'll have many more great times. I can't say what the future will hold, but I can say that I am loving what I have right here, right now.

How was your weekend?

A Rhyme for The Time...

As I look in the mirror I finally see,

The person that's been hiding inside of me.

All of the years of sadness and worry,

Helps me to appreciate happiness in a hurry.

I have a good man and my family is fine,

This life that I live is finally mine.

Free of anger, fear and destruction,

Free of the people who've caused much corruption.

Living for today...tomorrow...forever...

Conquering the storm despite the weather.

I've made up in my mind that I will be strong,

Even when people do me wrong.

I have control of the path that I take.

I have control over decisions I make.

Even though I can't control the future I see

That I'm in control of Luvin' Me.



I end posts with questions that perplex us all,

But this time I'll ask something small...

Take this time

to think of a rhyme

that's all about you

and the things you do.

The things you love, the things you hate.

Even the things you celebrate.

Post it for all to see, let me know when you do,

So I can stop by to visit you.

It may seem silly but it relieves stress,

It makes you think of your problems less.

Until next time we shall see

if you'll take on the challenge from Luvin Me.

Why This...Why Now?

Why does he keep beggin' me not to go through with it?

Why can't he just realize that he and I were not meant to be?

Why can't he see that our season is over?

Why doesn't he just stop?

Why does he call me during the day while my man is at work, just to talk?

Why did he ask me to let my man go?

Why didn't he try to have this conversation with me 8 years ago?

Why do I feel sorry for him, but not sorry enough to give up the best man I ever had?

Why does he make me feel sad when I am supposed to be in state of pure bliss?

Why do I ignore his calls?

Why does he try to use our child as a crutch?

Why wasn't he thinking of our child when we broke up years ago?

Why is he trying to reignite a flame that went out long ago?

Why can't he just be happy for me, because I'm happy?

Why can't he just let go?

My daughter's dad is at it again. Stronger than ever now. I'm not having it. I have given him so many chances to stop calling...but he won't let it go. This may cause some friction on the home front because I have to tell my man what's going on. I feel so guilty laying next to him knowing that another man is begging me to be with him.

In any other situation, it would be easy...but he is impossible. I have to see him because I have a child with him but why can't he just stop acting this way. He knows that it's been over for a long time. I don't lead him on. I don't play games. So why can't he just STOP!


What's a girl to do?

Some Me Time...

I'm taking a little time for myself today...

A little pampering...

A little shopping...

Because I need it badly...

...Until Next time...Have a good day!

She Said Too Much...

Yesterday, Angel, Ambitious, Softspoken and I all met up. They wanted to have drinks, and I was along for the ride. We went to Ambitious' bar. He has hired a manager and he has taken the back seat with plans to open a new bar soon. There was a new waitress that must have been hired recently working our table. She had no clue of who she was serving.

She took our orders and got them back in a timely manner. Then she came back to the table trying to make conversation, but she tried just a little too hard. She was talking about how she liked rap music and how she was down. I just sat there in disbelief knowing that this would be her last night working there. She was telling us how she had a baby by a black man and how she felt close to us because of her child. The whole time we just sat there looking at her. No one said thing. After she realized that she was having a conversation with herself, she walked away from our table to refresh the drinks.

She came back to the table. She must not have been wrapped too tight because if I had just gotten out of a conversation where I could see that the whole table was obviously not into what I was saying, I would definitely not try to start another one. But still she want on. She talked about how she loved our hair and how she was moving to the hood so that her child could be raised around more black people.

Maybe she was having a bad night...I couldn't even get offended because in my mind all I could do was feel sorry for the girl.

Ambitious was fuming. He has the ability to keep his cool in challenging situations. He asked to speak to the lady's manager. She had a confused look on her face and asked why, then went to find him when Ambitious did not answer.

When she and the manger came out the back, he had a nervous grin on his face. He could see that Ambitious was upset so he and the lady walked over to our table quickly. He said to the manager, "How are you this evening?" The manager answered, "Fine how are you sir?" Then Ambitious said, "Offended, and I'd like another server please." The manger looked at Ambitious and waited for him to say more but he didn't. By now we were done eating so he knew that he didn't mean he wanted another server at our table, but another server in general. The lady just stood there, still not knowing what was going on.

The manager and Ambitious went to the back and came out shortly after. Then the manager took the girl in the back and she came out later with the jacket on and her purse on her shoulder. She started to cry when she looked in our direction, knowing now the she had been talking to the owner.

After she left, Ambitious told us that she was fired because she had gotten too personal with the customers. What if he had been someone else? He said he had worked too hard to watch all that he had built be broken down by another person.

I really don't know how I felt. Even though I am greatly invested in the business, I choose to remain a silent partner and allow him to run things his way.

How would you feel in this situation? Would you be offended? Would you you have fired the lady?

This is not the first time I had a problem at his bar. My man and I went there to eat once and we got terrible service. I don't know if I was more upset because it was my friend's place or because my money was invested in this place. Since then service had improved greatly until now...

Out With The Old...

My man and I are doing something different for Valentine's Day this year. I won't be getting flowers or candy. Actually, I won't be getting anything on that day. Am I upset, no...because there is a catch. In the month of February, we have chosen to give each other a small gift everyday EXCEPT Valentine's Day. The gifts don't have to be expensive, just practical. They are things that we have both seen and wanted, but never took the time to purchase for ourselves. No hints allowed. We both have to use only what we already know about each other when deciding on what to buy. This has been so much fun so far. It shows how much we pay attention to each other. To me, it's the little things that count and this has really proved that theory to be true.

On Valentine's Day we are going to do our usual. We are getting together and hanging out with our friends. Nothing big. Just food, friends, and fun! I don't know why people make such a big deal out of that day. It's just another day to me. I'm glad my man makes me feel like I'm special everyday, so I don't have to wait for one day out of the year for him to show his appreciation...

I like trying new things with him inside the bedroom and out. It's keeps things exciting...

Do you like to try new things or you into routines and planning?

Back to Diva...

Diva and I had a deep conversation over the weekend. The end result, he wants what I have. I learned a lot about my friend this weekend. He really has no clue. He wants it all so bad but he can't seem to get it....

He must have forgotten the things that I had to go through. Not to say that everyone has to have the same experiences but you have to go through something to appreciate what's on the other side. All he sees is that I am very happy now. He is blinded by what he wants. He is willing to try to find happiness at any cost. I tried to explain to him that happiness does not come that easy.

One thing is true that he said. Happiness is a choice.

He ws not very happy with me by the end of the conversation. I just stated the cold, hard facts. You can only choose to make yourself happy. You can't choose happiness for someone else. If the other person in the relationship does not want to be happy with you, it will not last....

What would you sacrifice for someone else's happiness?

My answer to that question. Nothing. What I mean by that is, if we can't come to some type of agreement in which we can both be happy in the situation, the only alternative for me is to get out of it.

After we agreed to disagree, we were okay. We had lunch...shopped...the whole time he checked his phone. Finally he said. "I want you to meet him." We left the store and we were on our way.

We pulled up at Diva's place and went inside. He made a call. A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I had no idea what to expect.

He walked in. He was average height and was nicely built. I could tell he spent time in the gym. He walked over to me and gave me a hug, much to my surprise. I really didn't know how to react so I just stood there stiff for a moment. I tend to freeze up when people invade my personal space unexpectedly. He had a nice smile. I looked him over from head to toe and my eyes stopped on his ring.

He looked at me...I stared back. The unspoken reality filled the room. He was a married man and had my friend on the side. I bet his wife was somewhere without a clue. We all talked for a while. He told me about himself. He was unhappily married with one son. He tried to tell his wife it was over but she kept hanging on, and at this point so was he. I told him about me.

We ended the conversation amicably. He went on his way.

Now I understood why he had been acting so strangely. Diva had been on stolen time. That's why he had to leave in a haste.

I have my own morals and beliefs...but I choose not to judge my friend. Although I may not agree with his choices for his life I have to realize that it was just that...HIS LIFE.

Diva knows that I won't tell anyone...It's not my business to tell.

I just hope my friend knows what he is getting himself into...

Relationship 101

My friend has gotten himself into a mess...

He is in a relationship with someone who really doesn't love him. He uses him. It's a roller coaster of emotions and I guess he just enjoys the thrill of the ride.

The guy is very attractive, but Diva does so much to please him. We've never met this new guy...He's always busy. I just sat there listening to my friend tell me one excuse after another as to why he should be with this guy, but not once did he mention the word love. The words Oh no rang over and over in my head.

I've learned that you have to careful when dealing with friends and their relationships. I told him how I felt about the whole situation and left it alone.

I feel that if you are with a person and you have to put forth all the effort to keep them happy, and they don't give you the same in return then you need to let it go. If a person cares for you they never have to say it with words. Their actions will show it...

People get into relationships for different reasons...money...power...status...sex. Call me old fashioned but I think love is so important. I feel love every time my man looks at me...

What are some reasons that you have started or stayed in a relationship? Was it worth it?