Relationship 101
My friend has gotten himself into a mess...
He is in a relationship with someone who really doesn't love him. He uses him. It's a roller coaster of emotions and I guess he just enjoys the thrill of the ride.
The guy is very attractive, but Diva does so much to please him. We've never met this new guy...He's always busy. I just sat there listening to my friend tell me one excuse after another as to why he should be with this guy, but not once did he mention the word love. The words Oh no rang over and over in my head.
I've learned that you have to careful when dealing with friends and their relationships. I told him how I felt about the whole situation and left it alone.
I feel that if you are with a person and you have to put forth all the effort to keep them happy, and they don't give you the same in return then you need to let it go. If a person cares for you they never have to say it with words. Their actions will show it...
People get into relationships for different reasons...money...power...status...sex. Call me old fashioned but I think love is so important. I feel love every time my man looks at me...
What are some reasons that you have started or stayed in a relationship? Was it worth it?
He is in a relationship with someone who really doesn't love him. He uses him. It's a roller coaster of emotions and I guess he just enjoys the thrill of the ride.
The guy is very attractive, but Diva does so much to please him. We've never met this new guy...He's always busy. I just sat there listening to my friend tell me one excuse after another as to why he should be with this guy, but not once did he mention the word love. The words Oh no rang over and over in my head.
I've learned that you have to careful when dealing with friends and their relationships. I told him how I felt about the whole situation and left it alone.
I feel that if you are with a person and you have to put forth all the effort to keep them happy, and they don't give you the same in return then you need to let it go. If a person cares for you they never have to say it with words. Their actions will show it...
People get into relationships for different reasons...money...power...status...sex. Call me old fashioned but I think love is so important. I feel love every time my man looks at me...
What are some reasons that you have started or stayed in a relationship? Was it worth it?
posted by LUVIN ME @ 7:41 AM
9 Comments:
At 10:30 AM,
Freaky Deaky said…
What are some reasons that you have started or stayed in a relationship? Was it worth it?
It was what she wanted. I was bored and/or lonely. I liked her and fell in love. The sex was good. To experience something different. To see how things played out.
Sometimes it was worth it and sometimes not. I've learned a lot about what I don't want. While that doesn't necessarily tell me what I do want it does at least help me shut things down earlier when I see those qualities I don't want rearing it's head.
At 11:02 AM,
Ladynay said…
I agree relationships are give and take but what if Diva hasn't falling in love yet. What if he just likes him a lot? Maybe that's why he didn't mentioned love as a reason to want to keep going with dude?
I stayed in my last real relationship that was bad adn unbalanced because I was determined to make it work even tho' it took a toll on me. The only thing I can think of that I got from it was experience.
At 11:49 AM,
Newy said…
One reason I stayed is because everyone kept telling me what a good catch he was...he was nice eyecandy, but that was it. I wanted to make it work not for me, but for everyone else. In another relationship, I stayed because everyone told me how BAD he was for me and I wanted to prove them wrong.
Nope...neither was worth it.
At 12:36 PM,
LUVIN ME said…
@freaky...That's a good way to look at things.
@ladynay...That could be true. But from what I see, it looks like one sided love to me.
@mznew...It's too bad that we can't see things as they happen to us...
At 1:58 PM,
Shug said…
I stayed just to say that I had somebody. Usually in my relationships I'm the one that's doing all the giving and trying to make it work so I've just decided to be single for a while.
At 6:58 PM,
Will said…
Sometimes, people end up with some who doesn’t love them because they tell themselves that they cannot do better and consequently, they do not want to be alone. So, they often stay with someone who may not be the best for them. Not to say that this is the case for your friend, but it’s just something to think about.
The only way to talk to friends when it comes to things like this is about how your friend is feeling, about the situation, what she has done or plans to do to change the situation.
Most likely, the only think you can do is listen and talk to your friend empathically. Unless and until SHE has had enough, there isn’t much anybody else can do. She needs to he a wall (and hit is hard) in that relationship before she ends it.
At 7:11 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@Shug...I've been there...
@Will...You make a good point...but she is actually a he.
At 12:53 PM,
Miz JJ said…
I have stayed in a relationship hoping to recapture what we had before. Obviously did not work.
At 2:46 PM,
Ms.Honey said…
Because I was nice and didn't want to hurt the other persons feeling but I learned that I was hurting them by pretending to want to be with them
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