Take a Deep Breath...

I made it through the day without getting myself into trouble. I just have to keep it up for a few more weeks and I'll be okay...

He's taunting me with his scent...His smile...His voice. The way he says my name...and he knows it...We finished fairly early last night and started early this morning. That's how I am when I am in the middle of something good. I have to keep going...That's the life of a perfectionist...

I have to stay grounded...have to keep my composure...

I thought of him, while lying in the arms of the man I love. I felt so guilty...But as soon as my man spoke to me, the thoughts faded as quickly as they came. This man is having a crazy affect on me. I ALWAYS keep it together around men. Why is he an exception to the rule?

Ah Ha! He is my forbidden fruit...

Even though we work in different parts of the world, we interact everyday...I could NEVER cross that line. This is a true test of strength and loyalty. I talked to Softspoken about it last night. My friends have been talking about him non-stop since Saturday. They keep telling me what I need to do. If you have never been in a compromising situation like this one, it easy to say what needs to be done. I know what is in my heart, therefore I can keep my head in the right place. But many people would have jumped his bones by now. I'm not that woman...

Every time I notice something about him, I realize something even better about the man that I have...This man is just a fantasy. What I have is real...

My man had a dentist's appointment yesterday, and he decided not to go into work. I was sitting at my table, across from two gorgeous men who both thought I was working diligently. Three laptops...Three people...All with different thoughts running through their minds. One was sitting slightly to the right. He looked up from time to time, and asked me if I had come up with anything new. I shook my head in response, and kept typing. The one to my left was smiling at me from his heart. He stroked the bottom of my foot that I have propped up in the chair beside him, playfully, as he typed away on his laptop. Then he gave me look that lets me know he loves me...he wants me. Then it starts...

Hey sexy lady...(This is from my man of course) I respond...He smiles.

Then He starts talking..."What are you working on, that has you smiling that way?" I just reply..."I just love my work, what can I say?"

My man types...You look so nice this morning. Do you think you could sneak away for a lunchtime treat with someone who is sweet on you?

I type back...that could be arranged...

Then he says, I just came up with something new. Would you like to take a look at it?

I got up and walked to where he was sitting. His idea was great. My man looked at me with a knowing expression on his face. Once I get something in my head, that's it. I ride it out until the end. He knew that our plans for lunch had just been cancelled.

I went back to my seat, and my man starts up again. He says, So much for that thought huh? I reply...You know how I am. I have to get finished with my work, and then we'll play.

He types, Well maybe we can do an early dinner...I respond...We'll have to see how things go today.

Then he says, I have something else to show you. I came up with it late last night. I couldn't sleep so I kept working after I got back to the hotel.. His new development what we had been working on all day long on yesterday. He had finished it. Now we are ready to move on to phase two. I am happy, but sad that I'll be missing my lunchtime treat.

I said, "It looks like we have a lot of work to do." My man shot me a disappointed look. I looked down at my laptop.

He closed his laptop and said, "I guess I'll leave you two work-a holics to what you do best. I think I'm going to go into the office and get some things done."

I could tell he was pissed...First of all, my man saw how I was looking at him on Saturday. Now I am canceling out on him for another man. He can't take it...I excused myself and followed him to the back of the house. I could have sworn he had a smirk on his face when I got up...

My man was preparing to go to work, and I stopped him. I took him by the hands, looked him directly in the eyes, and asked what was wrong. He said. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to deal with all this working. Your work is now cutting into OUR time. You have to find a balance." I promised him that I would try to finish up early a few days this week, so that we could have some time. He accepted my response. He kissed me long and hard as he was leaving the house. I could feel him watching.

I went back to the table, and we worked for a while. I finished up at a decent hour, and still had time left for my family.

As the days go by, I think this will get a little easier...

Don't you hate it when it hard for you to control your situations?

What do you do balance time between work and play?