I Like It When...

I finally talked to my girl yesterday. She needs money...Every time my friends need a large sum of money, they come to me. I have NEVER gone to any of my friends for money. I don't even borrow money from my parents, or my brother, although they have plenty of it. I mean, if we are out and I have no cash on me and we need it on the spot, then yeah, they give it to me...But that's normally for only a few minutes, until we pass the next ATM. I hate to owe people anything! So if I want something, and I don't have the money, I just wait until I do, end of story. It's not that I mind giving it to them, it's just the way that they so convieniently ask me like it's no big deal. We all have very good jobs at the moment, but a couple of their spending habits are terrible, and why should I be a source of financial redemption when they have gone too far?

She's in a financial bind. Her cheating husband was so busy running the streets, that he convieniently forgot to pay the mortgage 3 months in a row! WTF? Now it's one thing to run the streets, but this dude wasn't paying for the house that HE was living in with his WIFE, and he was telling her that he was paying it. Now that she has put him out of the house, she has to assume full responsibility of the finances. I realize that this is not her fault directly. She is only guilty of trusting her husband. She received a letter from the mortgage company on Wednesday...And she called on me for help Wednesday night. When she called me yesterday, Softspoken was at my house. He was like...Why didn't she ask us all as a whole. He hates the fact that they all come to me.

It's like they don't even consider the fact that I am raising a CHILD. Those of you with children, and that have been around children know that ANYTHING can happen with them in a heartbeat, and there is no, "I don't have", you have to magically make the money appear by any means necessary!

So me, being the friend that I am, told he to bring her paperwork to my place, so that we can come up with something. When she got there, she got this weird look on her face when she saw Softspoken. She knows how he feels when it comes to them borrowing money from me. That's boy is my friend, for real!

After she showed me all the paperwork, Softspoken was skeptical. He wanted to know how she was going to pay me back...With the fact that she has no clue of how her divorce will turn out, and how long it will take, he said that I shouldn't do it. He suggested that she ask my whole group of friends. He said that she was"taking food from my daughter's mouth," and it wasn't right. I was prepared to give her the money, because she is my friend, but she considered his idea, so I left it at that.

My friends came over after I got back from my teen group session on yesterday. We discussed the amount that she needed, and we all decided to GIVE it to her. With the amount divided by six people, it was a little easier on all of us to let her have the money, because we know how hard it would be for her to pay us back. Of course she started crying, we all did( Is it me or does someone cry in my posts everyday! Shut up already!).

That story was a little longer than I thought...What I actually wanted to post about today was an exercise that I did with my girls yesterday. It's called I like it when...It allowed us to put a positive twist on our dislikes, and attempt to turn them around. Instead of fussing about the things we didn't like, we talked about what we do like. This saved us from a lot of a** whoopings growing up. It was our chance to voice our opinions without repercussions, but we knew our limits. It taught us that it is okay to express your concerns without hurting someone's feelings. I tried this with my Boo last night. It helps you to learn the people that are close to you. My parents used to do it with my brother and I when we were growing up. Instead of making house rules, they put things out in the open. My father would start, he would say...

Dad: I like it when...My kids are obedient.
Mom: I like it when my kids go to bed at a decent hour and get up on time in the morning..
Brother: I like it when my dad lets me stay out past 11:00..
Me: I like it when, my mom lets me go to the mall, and doesn't call my cell phone every five minutes...

And so on and so forth...You get the point.....

So this is how it went with my Boo last night( my daughter went bowling with her dad...And spent then night at his house).

Boo: I like it when, you don't walk behind me, cleaning up after me. If I left it there, I will pick it up.

Me: I like it when, you pick things up so I don't have to...

Boo: I like it when you tell me that you're busy, instead of not answering your phone.

Me: I like it when, you listen when I tell you that I have a lot to do today, and know that if I don't answer, it means that I can't, not that I don't want to.

Boo: I like it when you wear that shirt...

Me: I like it when you wear those jeans...

Boo: I like it when you come to my place, and allow me to do everything.

Me:( Was that a slight in my direction?) I like it when, you volunteer to do everything( He smiles...Okay...Just checking)

Boo: I like it when you kiss my neck , and chest, my stomach, and...( He didn't stop there. Actually he didn't stop until I was....Well let's just say the game ended at this point!)

What do you like?