The Outlet to My Rambling Brain...

I had a wonderful time with the girls yesterday. They enjoyed their Spa Day, and they all looked great! One of the girls cried at dinner. She was so happy. Of course I started crying too...And then it was on. There was not a dry eye in the room, but we were all happy! I see light at the end of the tunnel for these young ladies.

I'm up early, even though I don't have to work...I just can't help myself. My man is such a big kid. He is so suspicious about what I am doing for his birthday. He can't wait to see what I got him. Since I have the party planned for Saturday, his parents are having brunch for him Sunday, and we will be taking a mini-trip Monday and Tuesday, I'm going to have to take him to the vintage music store today to let him pick out his first gift (music). The store is about an hour away from where we live, and it opens early. His second surprise is the party. I told him last night that I have a surprise for him this morning and he called me at about 4:00 a.m. excited like it was Christmas Eve. He's on his way over now. This man is a mess!

Why is it that when you are happy in your relationship, all of your past guys/gals want to show up to try to test you? They are coming out of the woodwork. Calling, stopping by my parents' house. I see them everywhere..The mall, the store. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my daughter's dad wants to try to work things out between us. Before I got with my current man, I was single for almost 3 years, and all of a sudden when I am happy, he wants to work it out. I guess he has that, "If I can't have you, no one can" syndrome. He sees that I can be happy without him. He says that it hurts him to see me so happy her man. I told him that this day would come, but he wouldn't listen. We had my daughter young, so he wasn't trying to hear that "baby s***" as he called it at the time. I tried to reason with him, but he went away to college(Which I didn't want him to stay home. I wanted him to succeed if not for himself, but for her)He forgot that he had a kid. Didn't call...Nothing. Now I bet you are wondering how he could forget his own flesh and blood, but he did. I used to call him a holiday dad(not to his face). He only saw her on the holidays when he was home from school. He actually missed one of her birthdays because he was in Mexico with this chic. I was hurt, for my child, because she wanted to see him so badly, but he never came. Inconsistency is child abuse! I feel that if you are not going to be a real parent, you should just be honest to your kids. Don't be an in and out parent.

It seemed like after graduation, he grew up instantly overnight. Maybe I should say, he grew up in the aspect that he became a good father to his daughter, and he has been there ever since. But now, he wants more, and he can't have it.

But he's not the only one. I lost a lot of weight (over 70 pounds), after my daughter and have managed to keep it off. I work out regularly and eat 'alright' (I'm not a health nut). I was blessed with great genes. The women in my family have great skin( no stretch makes and even toned), and they age gracefully. Everything is big in the right places. I am surrounded by strong,beautiful, women. That is part of the reason that I am who I am. They beat it into me as I was growing up.

I didn't think I would love again, not like this, but love has a way of making you its b****, and you must surrender. I am in love people. If it ended today, I wouldn't regret one minute of it, because many women will never know the type of love that this man has for me. We talk, we reason, and then we come up with a solution. I'm not saying that we are perfect, and we always see things the same way, but we agree to disagree. We are laying a foundation...Slowly. If people would take things slow...Stop trying to rush the inevitable...They could savor the moment, and know what true love feels like. I have a whole life to love someone...And who's to say that it is all meant for one person. We give too much too soon, and we wonder why we are unable to tear ourselves away from the person. You have to keep something for yourself. If not, you will keep setting yourself up for disaster. Take time to open your eyes, and accept people for who they are , not who or what you want them to be to you. You will be much happier. My motto is NO EXPECTATIONS = NO DISAPPOINTMENTS.

He loves me...And I know it. Not because I think so, but because he tells me not only with his words, but with his actions. Don't settle for less than what you want. (I've done it so many times.) It's out there. You just have to know how to let go and accept it for what it is. Don't let your past skeletons drive away your future happiness as I almost did. It feels good to love someone that loves you back. The whole time that I have been typing about him, I have had this goofy smile plastered across my face...I've got it bad!

Who do you love? Is it worth preserving? Do they love you the same? Don't settle for anything less than the best!