I Want Some More!

The saga continues( a continuation of yesterday's post)...

It's official. The b**** is crazy. I guess an A** whooping was not enough for her.

She has been calling me non stop since the s*** hit the fan on Sunday. She will not let up. She says that she has to talk to me, and will no stop until I hear her out. Normally, persistence is a good thing in my book, but she has crossed the line this time. Right now, I just need a little space to cool down, and then I'll be ready to at least hear whatever piss-poor excuse she has for her actions.

Since I wouldn't take her calls, or listen to her, she went another route. She called my man and went by his house! WTF! If I were her, and my close friend had just b*** my a** for something that I had done to that man, I would stay as far away from him as possible. But some people just don't learn. He asked her to stop calling, but she wouldn't. Then he looked outside, and she was parked in front of his place. At first I was trying to figure out how she knew where he lived, but I remembered that we were all together one night, and he had to stop by his place to pick up something... but why would she ever go back there? At first I told him to call the police, but my heart softened a little for her ( momentarily). I went by there instead.

I pulled up behind her and she didn't move. I got out of the car, and I walked to the driver's side window, and tapped on it. I told her to get out of the car because we needed to talk. She cracked the window just enough for me to hear what she was saying. She said, " I will get out if you calm down. Promise that you won't hit me." It was hard, but I gave her my word. My man came out of the house...He said, "Are you cool? You know how my neighbors are." I told him that everything was fine. He had a few of his friends over finishing up some paperwork from their investment group. He suggested that we come in and talk. He told my girl that it was best for her to comply, since she had witnesses, and a couple of bodyguards. I thought that was funny. But I was in no mood for sarcasm.

I went in, and we talked. She told my of how she had seen my man a a club that we used to hang out at. She said that she liked him long before I met him, but she never said anything to me or him. She said that she didn't have the nerve to approach him. Now this is a gold-diggah talking...And she's intimidated(yeah right!). She said that he didn't seem like the type of man that would take her stuff, and that's what she needed in her life. So she could change her ways. I then explained to her that he and I have been messing around for a long time now. We just decided to make it official a few months ago. Then I told her taht a man cannot change who you are. She would have to do that for herself. Through this conversation, I got a chance to see how weak she is. She uses her looks and ability to make men go crazy, to cover up what she lacks on the inside (Maybe I should have been taking her to my teen group meeting with me). She said that she felt bad for what she did, and she was sorry. Did she think that was enough? Just because she had seen him, and liked him before she knew about us being together, she felt it was okay to propostion him? Like I told her, that was then, and this is now. She said that she was testing him(that's bull***. She's just trying to talk her way out of it because she got caught). I told her to think long and hard before she tries to test anyone else. I am the only professor he needs giving him those kinds of tests right now! She broke the "friend-code". Once I have him, He is OFF LIMITS. No exceptions!

She kept apologizing, but I told her that she was just wasting her time. I told her that I still loved her as a person, but my love and respect as a friend was gone. I can never trust her again. She told me that she needed me to be her friend. But I can't do it. Like I said in my last post, I have really been there for her. Mentally and emotionally, when she had no one...Financially, when the gold-diggin' game didn't go like she expected, I picked up the slack...Physically, when her own momma wasn't around....I was a friend, and I was there. Even when it inconvenienced me, I still had her back. She really has used me to the fullest. She has been like a leech, and I couldn't let her go. A parasite of sorts, feeding on my strengths, and weakening me in the process. She has been co-dependent on me for too long. But now, the journey is over.

She said that none of my other friends will talk to her. I told her that I have no control over how they think. They have their own minds and opinions. They told her that they can't trust her anymore. Once you cross one, you cross us all, because that's how we roll. This time, she just went too far. I reminded her that she was MY friend to begin with, and they grew close to her through ME. So what did she expect? I'll never say a bad thing about her to anyone outside of our circle...If she is dying or needs food, I will help her. That's just me. My heart won't allow me to be evil, but it also won't allow me to forget the pain that I feel right now. I will never let her know that I would still help her if and only if no one else was around. That time will just have to come. As far as I am concerned...She does not exist in my world anymore. My father's words that were etched in my head years ago rang loud and clear... "Don't limp for cripples."

She is still calling me...But I refuse to answer. She emails me, but I don't open them, I delete them all. I have let go of her, I just hope that she can do the same.


Have you ever had to let go of something in your life? A grudge...A past hurt by someone that was close to you? Did it make you a better person to release that negative energy from your life?