I'm Growing...

The older I get, the more I realize that I could care less what people think of me, say to me, or even do to me. Things that used to get to me down don't phase me in the same way...

My friends say that I'm "funny-acting" at times, because I don't take to everyone. If I don't have much in common with a person, I'm not going to sit there and talk to them for the sake of conversation. I prefer to be quiet and listen to people anyway.

Yesterday, my friends came over and I cooked dinner for the crew. Why is it that when I invite these people to my house, someone always has to bring someone new? Now I am not against meeting new people, but dang, can't you warn a sistah first? Especially if I have to feed them...

Ambitious brought this chic and her friend. They go to his club frequently. She was a tad bit "snooty" for my liking. She looked, acted, and even smelled of money, from her car down to her shoes...She came in the door commenting on everything around my house. When it comes to something that I like, I spare no expense. My friends call my house the museum because I collect rare pieces of art and I buy things that catch my eye and I display the pieces in such a way that gives them life. I love to support up and coming artists. I appreciate these things, but I don't like clutter. I have the space to display them tastefully...She knew a little about a few of the pieces but did she have to touch everything when she commented? She was walking her friend around acting like she was my personal docent. She got just a little too comfy in my space. Her friend was following behind her like a flunky.

After their tour, they took a seat with the rest of us (by now I am ticked because she was rude), but I am working on me...So still I said nothing.

We had dinner and they all fixed drinks...Even though I don't drink(with the exception of my island vacation) I keep a little something around for my friends...all of them drink.

Normally this is when things start to get crazy in my circle...Alcohol makes people say what they think, and this time was no exception...Green Eyes starts to question the girls. He asks where they are from, what they do for a living...He's a walking interviewer. He does this to everyone, but we are used to him. He lets up off of them for a while, and everyone wants to know how my teen girls are doing. I tell them about some of my plans and they give their input. They all pitch in to help me with the activities that I plan for them. We are taking them to the State Fair next week and they are all coming to help supervise and well as help out financially with the girls who have nothing, to make sure that they all have a good time.

I guess this sparked an interest in one of the chics because, the more dominant of the pair starts in with a line of questioning of her own. But the questions are directed at me. She says, "who died and left you this house because I know that we can't afford a house in this neighborhood." I gave her an evil glare. I said, "First of all, it's that type of mentality that keeps us from being where we need to be." I shook my head in disgust. She said. "You talk about what you do for the "girls in the hood" ( that reference made me even angrier), but if you live nowhere near the hood, so how can you help them?" I said to her, "the whole point is to get them out of their environment so they can see that there is more to life than what they see everyday." She said, "so you think by going in giving them motivational speeches on a weekly basis and taking them on a few rides is going to change these girls. They are rotten to the core. They were born in the hood, and they'll die in the hood. Being nothing. Just like their mothers before them, and so on..." By now I was livid! I hated the fact that she was trying to belittle me and my efforts and put down these girls at the same time. In this world there are the haves and the have nots. She definitely had everything, but I could still see an emptiness hiding behind her words and her money...

I stayed calm. Now this is the point where intelligence had to outweigh ignorance or the whole conversation is in vain. I shut her up without raising my voice, I just let the facts speak for themselves. People mindlessly degrade others without taking a look in the mirror. I know that we were born into privilege. I have two wonderful parents who worked very hard to provide for my brother and I, and growing up I got everything that I needed and most of the things that I wanted. She comes from a long line of money makers... Is it wrong for me to want the best for girls who didn't have the same? I know that I can't give them the world, but I give them what I have...me. My time...my heart...my resources. The main thing that they need is someone to care.

Even though this b**** was rude and she was about 10 steps across the line, I invited her to step off her mighty horse come and see what I was talking about. She as well as my other friends are coming to my weekly session with the girls. I can't save the world, but I can help break the cycle...one ignorant a** person at a time...

This whole situation is evidence of the changes taking place in my life. Instead of being confrontational( which my friends expected), I used my knowledge to get my point across. I may have even found another financial supporter for my efforts. Until she sees and knows what it going on, she can't speak on it. If she walks out of there and doesn't feel at least an ounce of compassion, then she is heartless. These girls are not lost, they are just confused.

Do you see evidence of growth and change in your life?