You Did What?

I sat there in the lobby of the hotel, part of me wanting to run, but my curiosity wouldn't let me move. After the things that he had told me, I had to find out for myself.

I only sat there for a moment, but it felt like an eternity. He walked up to where I was sitting, greeted me with a smile, and brushed my cheek with a kiss. I smiled. I had to take a deep breath because what happened next determined my future. If my man ever found out it would be over. As much as I love him, as much as I care for him...what am I doing here? My mind was all over the place but my body was taking slow, uneven steps right behind him. When we got on the elevator, my mind told me to get off...go home. But yet I stayed there...putting my future on the line.

When we got into his room, I took a seat in a chair, close to the bed. I had to get my mind together if I was going to go through with it...I had the one thing that everyone was looking for in my life...true love...Yet I was sitting there willing to give it all up for one night of passion...This is not like me. How could you do this to him? He loves you so much...

He turned on some music. He had purchased a small CD player for his stay. He loves music. He played it all day as we worked. He said, a day without music is like a day without sunshine...The sultry sounds of Nina Simone filled the room. Ne Me Quitte Pas (Don't Leave Me)...

Why did he have to play that song? It's one of my favorite songs. My man plays it for me all the time...It does something to me...He knew exactly what he was doing, yet I didn't stop him.

We danced...His scent was wonderful...unfamiliar...enticing. But I knew it was not my man's scent. Yet I stayed there wanting to allow his essence to permeate my body... and I wanted to run at the same time. But my feet would not move.

As the song reached it's end, I knew that playtime was over. The way his body responded to mine told me exactly what I needed to know...he wanted me. He undressed me, and I did the same to him. We didn't speak. There was nothing left to be said. We both knew what was at stake. We work for the same company...He's getting married in a couple of months as well...We still couldn't just walk away. This may be our last time seeing each other...and we were saying goodbye...

I stared at his body for a moment. Chocolate perfection.

He laid me on the bed and stood back admiring the woman the was stretched out before him. He kissed my face...my neck...my shoulders...and he kept going down form there...kissing every single inch of my body. I didn't try to stop him...I returned the favor, giving him pleasure in every way. After it was over, we laid there holding each other in silence. Knowing that what we had just done would change things forever. We both had to go home to the ones we loved with a guilty conscience. We were both trapped in our own thoughts. We drifted off to sleep.

The sound of the phone scared us both in the middle of the night. I shook him so he would answer the phone. He didn't move. I said, "Loverboy, answer the phone." He said, "Okay Pretty Lady." I jumped up and turned on the lamp next to the bed. What the? When did I? How did I?

My man handed me the phone. It was Angel, and she couldn't get the baby to go to sleep. She was crying, the baby was crying, and she wanted me to come over and help her. I told her I was on my way.

My man sat there staring at me for a moment and said, "Are you okay? You have been tossing and turning all night." I said, " I had a bad dream." He said, "Do you want to talk about it?" Of course I said no. Normally when I eat spicy foods late at night, I have the worst dreams. We had Thai food yesterday and I guess it got the best of me.

But the dream seemed so real. I am glad that I woke up. I am so glad that I didn't cross the line in reality. I am glad that I didn't sleep with him.

He propositioned me, and I never gave him an answer. I just walked away from him and said, "Have a nice trip home." I guess in my mind, I was thinking What if, and it was apparent in my dream. I did go to the hotel lobby, but that was it. I went right back home. I had to drop off his new laptop before he left, and somehow my dream started there, and took a different turn. But the whole thing in a nutshell...I wouldn't do it...I could never go through with it. Because I have a man that truly loves me, and I can give him nothing less in return...

He's leaving today and I decided against taking him to the airport. I may never see him face to face again, but I have to talk to him often. I will remember him, but I am glad that he is leaving...

Have you ever had a dream that seemed real but made no sense whatsoever?