On Cloud Nine...

I'm still on cloud nine this morning...We haven't told anyone yet...We haven't had time to. Friday evening, we drove to San Antonio to relax on the Riverwalk. My Boo had planned a mini-trip for us, which I knew nothing about, but it was a pleasant surprise. It was romantic. He's turning me into a mushy mess! We got back last night. The ambiance of our hotel was to die for. We even took a trip to the spa. Being that I am allergic to just about everything, I opted for a massage, manicure and pedicure. My Boo got the royal treatment. I think he needed it more than I did.

Our Hotel

I am sex-hausted, and loving it!

I have never been to the point of passion that made me cry. I made it there this weekend, and so did he. It was an experience that I will never forget, and one that made me love him even more.

I have never really seen a man cry(in a situation that was not sad) before...He opened up and cried. He wasn't balling and slobbering all over the place...Just silent tears in the heat of the moment, that let me know that what he felt was true. He looked into my eyes, and we cried together. Whew, I'm getting worked up just thinking about it! I got it bad! I cry all the time...At movies...heck, sometime I even cry at sad commercials. But this was different. This time, I cried for us. I've shed so many joyful tears over the past few days, I don't think I have any left!

Many people never reach the point of true happiness because they don't allow it in their lives. You have to really want it for it to come. Not because you're lonely or because you see others happy and you envy them. You have to want it for you, and you have to really know what you want. When I wanted happiness, it was no where in sight, because I was looking for it and had no clue what to expect. I tried to make people into what I wanted. Then it crept up on me when I least expected it, and I almost let it slip away. Because of past hurts...because of my fear of being loved...because of my disbelief in true love...I almost lost out on what was meant to be. Because my heart was tainted...but it healed. With time, with love, with realization. I heard people say so may times, when it's real, you just know it. That is true. It just feels right.

I have been in good relationships before, but this is not the same. My mother always told me to find someone that loves me more than I love them. I don't think that is possible with us, but I know exactly what she meant. I had to find someone who could fulfill my needs without me having to ask...Someone who knew me, accepted me and loved me just as I was. He made it easy for me. Relationships are hard enough without all of the excess baggage.

People really don't know what they want. They are willing to accept almost anything, just to be with someone else. I decided that if I can be picky with my clothes, and my appearance...why can't I do the same with my heart? I decided that I was going to put as much effort inside as I put outside. I had to really love me first...completely. After I really embarked on what loving me was all about, I knew exactly what I wanted. But I also allowed myself to become a little too critical at times. I was overtaken by the what-ifs and whys. But that has changed, and I know what it feels like to be loved, and to give that same love in return.

Are you open to love?

Do you believe that love really has the power to heal?