Enough Is Enough

I love kids...when they belong to someone else. I was blessed with one child, and I plan on keeping it that way. I'm not greedy. I enjoy the fact that I can go and come as I please, because her father is adamant about sharing in half the responsibility of raising her. She is old enough that I don't have to lug around a diaper bag and sippie cups, but still young enough to eat off the kids menu...so for me, things are great.

My cousin, on the other hand, has 6. It is a rare occasion that she can find a babysitter for all of them at once. I'll do it...Maybe twice a year. But no one else in the family will take on the task. They are little busy bodies. She is young(24), and she likes to go out and do things that 24 year olds do, but has a hard time doing so often, and you could imagine. I don't like to rub things in her face, but come on. She chose to have those children. Now, I'm not saying that she did it on her own, I'm just saying the there are ways to prevent it. She says that she loves her kids, and I'm sure she does, but they are stressing her out. She does not work a 9 to 5 (raising 6 kids is a job within itself), she lives off the child support from their fathers...and yes, they have different dads.

But that's not the problem. The problem is she is pregnant, again, and this time, by a married man. She is so depressed because she thought that he would leave his wife. He and his wife have a son, and she can't have anymore kids. I admit that it was selfish of him to go out and have a baby outside their marriage, but my cousin should have known better. A wife with one child v.s. a 'baby's momma" with six...You do the math. His wife has accepted the fact that he has a new child on the way and is cool with it. Now my cousin is scared that he and the wife may take the new baby. Judging on her financial status at this point, I'm sure they will have a good chance at getting the child. Now she wants to get rid of the baby. She says that she would rather not have the child, than to see it taken away from her. That is a hard decision...I'll be praying for her, and that's all I can do at this point.

Now, if it were me, and I was having a hard time with the first couple of kids, I would have stopped while I was ahead. Her mom says she needs a permanent Depo drip. If it were me, my tubes would be clipped, burned, and tied in double knots! But, she's not me, so I have to let her think for herself. I'm not saying that having kids is a bad thing, but having more kids than you can handle is.

I'm not upset because she is having another baby. That's her choice. It's my choice to NOT babysit. I'm upset because now, she is asking for MY help. Lately, she has been feeling the effects of pregnancy...and she is having a hard time with all of these kids. Her mom helps as much as she can, but she WILL NOT keep all of her kids. She says that her nerves can't take it. I ran the Kiddie Bus yesterday, because she had to go to the doctor. Dropping off kids at schools and day cares and picking them up. It was just too much. Then we got to her house, and she was in the bed, asleep. Six kids to feed, help with their homework, listen to see how their days went...I wanted to scream. I stayed there and helped out for the rest of the day. After hearing how exhausted I was, my Boo came over and helped out( I love that man!). He played outside with the kids while I cooked dinner. After they finished dinner, and had all taken showers, we watched a movie(or should I say, they watched a movie because I slept through it)and went to bed with no problems. We fixed their lunches for the next day, ironed their clothes, and laid the out so that they could be up and dressed in a timely manner the next morning. She did not get up once to make sure that things were okay. I understand that she trusts me with her kids, but there is no way that I could just stay in bed and pawn off my responsibility on someone else...I got home, took a long hot bath, and we went to sleep.

She called me while I was on the way home(I guess she finally decided to get up) to thank me for all I had done, and...Asked me to do it again today. I love my cousin, but I hung up the d*** phone, cranked up the volume on my CD player, and drove home. I was too tired to respond.

My hat goes off to all of you mothers, single or married, with a house full of kids. I love em...As long as I can send them home and get them when I want to.

So, in this situation, what do you think she should do? Keep the new baby or not?

I am pro choice, but this one has me stumped...