I Just Know

This is sort of a two part post...Just a couple of realizations that I had...

Yesterday I made a discovery that has taken me back to the gym.

We were talking to my Boo's best friend and he made a joke about fat people. Then he said, "Why does every crew...clique...circle...have a fat chick/dude?" I laughed it off at the moment. But the insensitive statement that he made stuck in my head. Why was it bothering me so much? I thought of all my very close friends, and they are all slim(even the pregnant one...She is all stomach...) with the exception of one(but she's more like a shopping buddy, so I guess she doesn't count). The grim reality came over me...I'm the fat chick in the clique. I mean, I not fat, by any means...but by who's standards? I am thicker than all my other friends...Happiness is affecting my hips...So with that...It's back to the gym for me!

On a better note. I had someone ask me how I know that my Boo is the man for me...How I know that what we have is real. She and her man have been dating for 3 years now, and she's ready to marry him, but she doesn't know where he stands. I thought for a moment and realized that I know that I am loved. No doubt about it. He shows me everyday. Then there was the question that she thought would be hard for me to answer, but I surprised myself at how easily the words flowed from my lips. "How do you know he loves you...I mean really? What you two have seems too perfect. I know there has to be something that makes you question his love. How do you know?"

How I know he loves me...

...He tells me every morning when I wake up, and every night before I go to sleep.

...He doesn't try to solve my problems, he supports the solution that I come up with whether he agrees with it or not.

...In those moments when I don't want to say anything, he just sits there, quietly, until I am ready to speak.

...By the way he kisses me.

...Buy the way he talks to me.

...By the way he touches me in just the right way, in all the right places.

...By the way he makes a big deal about the "creations" my daughter makes for him.

...By the way he mats and frames the artwork of a little seven year old girl that I love so much, and hangs it in his place like it's a Picasso.

...By the way he takes the time to listen, and not just hear what I am saying. He never gives the impression that he is too tired or too stressed to listen...he just does it with no complaints.

...By the way he considers my feelings and others before he speaks.

...Because he is consistent in his efforts and he is a man of his word. If he says he will do something...it's already done.

...By the way he sits up with me at night, with a sick child that's he is not the father of...

...By the way he tells me out of consideration what he will be doing for the day, so I DON'T HAVE TO ASK, and if there is a change in the plans, or something goes wrong, he thinks enough of me to call me and tell me be beforehand. So I never have to wonder.

...By the way all of my worries seem to fade when he comes around.

...By the way that he looks at me every time he sees me.

...By the way that he compliments me. Even on the smallest things. My hair...my dress...he notices EVERYTHING! Even when I'm having a bad day he'll say things like..."You have the most beautiful eyes I have even seen." Not in a sappy way, but rather at the most unexpected times...When I'm doing laundry...when I'm cleaning the house.

I could have gone on and on, but I stopped...

All she could say was..."D*** girl. They don't make them like that anymore. You really have me thinking now. We are nowhere near that point." I said to her, "You have to do what works for you." "My man is different from yours, and you can't expect them to do the same things. Either love your man for who he is, or let him go. Don't try to change him into what you think he should be." My man and I have our little spouts here and there...I mean, who doesn't. People think that we have a perfect relationship because I don't go to others when I have a problem with him, I take it to the source...and we handle it. By the time I talk to my friends about it, it's''s over and done with. My friends can't solve a problem that I have with my man. Only we can solve it. That is a lesson that I had to learn, and I'm glad that I did.

That conversation made me appreciate what I have so much more. If you can't sit and think of reasons why you are with a person and how you know for a fact that the person cares for you or loves you, then more than likely, that person is not for you. I know that women hit on my man all the time ( If they didn't I would think that something is wrong with him)...and know that he meets new people everyday, but do I worry...No. Because I trust him, and I am determined to love him, no matter what the outcome may be.

He says things to put me at ease. He and I were having a conversation the other day about relationships. He said, "Any man can be in a relationship, but only a real man can be with you, and stay with you. It is very easy to cheat, it takes no thought...no real feelings. But relationships take time and consideration." I understood exactly what he meant by that, but I wanted him to say it...I didn't want to assume that I knew what he was thinking. I wanted to know where his head was. He said,"When you really love someone, man or woman, and you are in a relationship with them, cheating is never an option. When things go wrong, you just find better ways to love them. I want to love you as much as I can for as long as I can."

A couple of years back, I wouldn't be talking about love in this way. I didn't have a clue that this type of love existed. But now...I'm wide opened...


Can you think of reasons why you are attracted to...like...love...sleep with...are in a relationship with...are married to... the person you are with?