Kicking The Little Princess Off Her Throne

I had a great time with my teen group last night. Some of them actually listened. I can see that this will be a hard road to travel, but as many of you said in your comments, if I can just reach one girl and help her to understand what loving yourself is all about, then I have accomplished my goal.

Are you doing anything meaningful with your life? Will you be able to look back 5...10...years from now and really remember what you were doing? Will it even matter? How will people remember you?

I work with these girls, but I do realize that charity starts at home! My daughter is learning a much needed lesson early in life, so that she won't have a life full of heartache. I try to make a memory out of each day. If I do nothing else great in life, the one thing that I want to be remembered for is being a good mother to my child. I am not her friend, now that does not mean that I can't be like a friend to her. My responibilty is not to make her like me... If I am a real mother, then there is no need for me to try to be something I'm not. She will love and respect me for what I am and what I am doing in her life. I refuse to try to buy her love or coax her into loving me as many people do...

As my child gets older, I realize that the years that have gone by can never be reclaimed, and I have a responsibilty to make sure that every moment that I am around my child is as pleasant as possible. Kids get enough negativity from the world. They don't need it at home too. I have learned that yelling does not work with my kid. She cries, yes, but in the end she really was not crying because she knew that she did something wrong, she was only crying because I yelled. So, I'm defeating the purpose. I have learned to be patient and talk to her, even though sometimes she makes my blood boil! Now I don't spare the rod, I just put it away until a beatdown is NEEDED!

I reward positive behavior in a positive manner. When she does something wrong, I turn it around on her. I make her think about it. It's a punishment within itself. I am consistant and as hard as it wasI have gotten her father on the same track. I teach her that every action has a consequence, whether good or bad. I was kind of skeptical at first, but yesterday I realized that it is working.

We stopped by the store on our way to the teen center(they have activities for younger kids as well). She has been wanting this new video game, but I refuse to let her have it until she has earned it. ( My brother bought it 3 weeks ago but she doesn't know it.) We all want our kids to have nice things, but kids with everything appreciate nothing. My daughter was born into privilege. Not that we are rich, but my family and her father's family do very well financially. She is very spoiled by both sides of the family. She is not a brat, but she really does not understand the meaning of the work NO! There are no other children in her immediate family, so she gets EVERYTHING she wants, and I do mean EVERYTHING. What does a 7 year old need with a Video IPOD? She played around with it for about 2 days, but lost interest. She also has the X-Box 360 and will be getting the Playstation 3. She has a plasma TV in her room(Her dad's brother is able to geet steep discounts on electronics...(he paid about $1200 for it, I still think that was too much for her). She doesn't even play with any of this stuff. She just has it because it is the "thing to have". I think it is ridiculous! If I don't buy it , someone else will. I saw how this mentality was affecting my child, so I had to put an end to it(somewhat). My brother bought the video game she wants, but he gave it to me instead of her. Since I can't make them stop buying for her, I can make sure that she earns it, because they all act like she HAS to have EVERYTHING!. I forbade anyone to give her anything else. If they do, I will go Mommy Dearest on their a**! For the next few months, everything has to come through me! If this works it will stay that way. She looked at the game and said, "I'm going to have that soon, because I have been doing everything I am supposed to." I just smiled and said, "We will see," but of course I am going to give it to her. She really has earned it. I give her small chores. She also has to do things without being told. She is doing very well. Her homework is done as soon as she gets in. Her bed is made before she leaves the house. She gets her clothes for school ready at night( the little diva is fashion savvy and her grandmothers are shop-a-holics. She actually has an extensive little wardrobe)... I am both impressed and proud of her for staying on the right track!

I haven't kicked the little princess of her throne completely, but I have made sure that her 'loyal subjects' understand what I am trying to do!

What is one thing that you would like to be remembered for?