Selfish

At times I can be selfish, but it's not intentional. I have patterned my life to make ME happy. But I often forget that my decisions don't just affect me anymore. Now that I have taken my relationship to another level, my decisions affect US. So if anything, I am selfish towards my man at times, because he makes small sacrifices for our relationship ( although I do the same for him), and I expect him to.

Those of you that read my blog on the regular know that I have a close circle of friends that be a bit crazy at times...My man accepts me, and my friends. He is normally the one who steps in to resolve many of the situations that we having going on. But now, my friends are beginning to drive me crazy. Finding a balance between my friendship and my relationship is starting to get hectic, because I have a few Needy people in my area.

My daughter was with her dad yesterday, so we were able to have a little time to ourselves. After I finished with my work for the day we decided to meet at his place for a nice quiet evening. While I am on my way to his place, my pregnant friend w/the cheating husband calls to see what I am up to. I told her that I was going to hang out with my man. She just said okay, in a sour tone, and hung up the phone, without telling me what she needed. She tried to call me back 3 times while I was on the way to his house and I didn't answer the phone. You can't just hang up the phone on me and expect me to want to talk to you a few minutes later. I know she is really going through some things right now, so I try to overlook her moods, but she is really beginning to tick me off on a regular basis. Now mind you that this is the same chic that 1) I left standing in the middle of the baby store for talking crazy to me...2)My friends and I pulled funds together to help her get her mortgage payments straight....3)I let her and her husband live with me when they were having problems...and too many more things to name in one post!

I got to my man's house, and he decided that he wanted to go to a movie. As we are walking out of the door his phone rings. He answers, and guess who it is, MY FRIEND. After he answers, he tells her to hold on, then he tells me who it is. I'm like, "Why is she calling you?" He says, "She says she is calling for you. You won't answer the phone. She says that is not feeling well, and she needs you to stop by." Of course I have a big question mark over my head by now, but I get on the phone and ask he what she needs. She says, "I don't need anything, but I had to get you on the phone. I just want my friend back. You have changed. Everytime I need you, you are with him, going to meet him, or soon will be with him. That's why I called you on his phone. I knew that the only way I could get you to listen was through HIM." I didn't even have a response for what she said. At first I was confused by what she said. Then I got mad. I was too mad to talk to her. I knew I would say something that I would later regret, so I just hung up the phone on her. The old me would have cursed her out in a split second, but the new me just hung up. Anger Management really works wonders for me!

WTH? I know that I spend a lot of time with my man. He as well as my daughter, are a part of my everyday life. But what's wrong with me being happy for a change. I include my friends in my life...but why can' she accept the fact that I have a life that doesn't revolve around my friends anymore. They are used to me being available all day, everyday. It's not that way anymore, but I don't think that I'm being selfish. I'm just living my life. The reason that this got to me so much is , my cousin (with all the kids) , said the same thing to me. She said that I was being selfish now that I was happy. When did it become selfish to live your own life. Just because I am not the built in babysitter for my cousin, or the constant shoulder to cry on for my friend, doesn't make me selfish. I do what I have to do to keep my sanity, and if my man helps me to do that, that I'm doing something right. Am I in love that much to where I have forgotten about my friends? I think not! I just love MYSELF enough to know when I have had enough.

I honestly think it is selfish of them to think that they are the only thing only my mind everyday...

Do you think it is selfish to take time out to do the things that make you happy?

Do you feel that it is selfish of friends/family, to depend on you no matter what you may be going through(they excuse the fact that you have things going on)?