Insecurity

The pool party was great! My sunroom was the hit of the party. Being that it was 95 degrees in the shade, we opted to stay in there in the AC, chill, eat, and play cards until the sun started to go down. Then we swam for a few hours. Ambitious provided the alcohol and music(he has connections through his club). It turned out better than I expected. There was a little drama though.

My man is very supportive of the way that I live. I work, take care of my child, and enjoy my life. I never sit and wonder where he is or what he is doing ( although 90% of the time he is with me....) when we are not together, and he doesn't worry about me. We are together out of desire for each other. My friend Ambitious has a girlfriend that he has been seeing, and for a while now. At one point, they were talking about marriage. She is a very pretty girl. But her insecurity is driving him crazy. She has only been around us a few times. She never wants to hang with his friends (we can a handful at times). He likes hanging out with us, so I know that is a problem for him. She comes around on the rare occasions when I have small, private dinners at my house...but when you have friends like mine, dinners are rarely private. When I cook, it's like they smell it a mile away because someone always wants to come by. He says that she doesn't really like crowds, which is cool. I am the same way for the most part. I really only like to be surrounded by people that I know, but I make exceptions at times. I go to restaurants, private parties, and clubs on occasion...but I'm not really into the big party scene. If he speaks to anyone while they are out, she questions him about where he knows the person from. Even men...she thinks that a guy could be his But anyway, she never really comes around.

She came to the pool party. She stuck to him like glue. Everywhere he moved, she moved. Whenever someone said something to him, she would ask who it was, and what they said. She really needs to loosen up. I don't think that she has realized that we all knew him BEFORE he started dating her, and if any of us liked him, she would not be in the picture. Plus, if he had someone else that he was involved with, why would he invite her to the same party? Some people just don't think. He was irritated by the way she was acting. I must admit, she was getting on my nerves too...and I wasn't the only one that noticed, we all did.

Ambitious pulled her to the side to talk to her. I guess whatever he said hurt her feelings because she started crying and went and sat in the car ( and might I remind you that it was hotter than a sauna out there). He came back to the table and started playing cards like nothing happened. We all sat there and stared at him, waiting for him to say something. He didn't say anything, he just gave me that "what did I do?" look. My man( the peacemaker), and I went to check on her. She was sitting in that hot a** truck, sweating and crying. I tend to have a shut the f*** up and shake that s*** off type of attitude when it comes to my friend's mates so my man, knowing how I am, opened the door and told her to get out of the hot truck and come in the house. We went into the kitchen( I didn't want her sweaty behind on my couch) and sat at the island. My Boo gave her some water and tissue and asked if she was okay. She was still sobbing. I just sat there looking at her with a blank look on my face, trying to figure out what he could have said to make her cry that way. She stopped crying long enough to tell us.

She said that he told her that if she doesn't get her insecurity in check, this will be the last trip that she would be making with him...anywhere. She said that she knew how insecure she was. She told us how she checks his cell phone( and actually calls the numbers back), his pockets, his body( for any unrecognizable marks), his wallet and his truck for numbers...she said a lot more, but I'll stop there...that's enough to drive anyone crazy. ( I just saw something like this on Dr. Phil last week.) My Boo just sat there shaking his head. I asked her, in a disgusted tone, "why do you do that?" She said that it gives her a sense of security. I asked if he ever cheated on her and she replied no. So where did the insecurity come from? She said she is like that with all men, and she was not changing. If they didn't like the way she was, they could just step. I bet she didn't tell him that! But you know I couldn't let my boy go out like that. I know, it was messy, but she was on the verge of messing up my good day... She was about to let how she was treated in the past mess up a good thing with a good man...

I went outside and got Ambitious. He was annoyed by the whole situation, but he came inside. Her newfound courage melted when she saw him. He said "What?" ( I had never seen him act like this with a female...she must have really made him mad.) She just started crying again. Then my Boo said, "Tell him." She looked at Ambitious and said, "I'm sorry, but this is me. This is how I am. If you can't accept it , then we can't be together." He just sat there with a straight face and said, "Okay, get your things, I'll take you home." I rode with them because he was acting weird. My man stayed and watched the party. She didn't live that far from me. He walked her to the door, hugged her and said goodbye, and got back in the truck.

We pulled off and he let out a sigh of relief. he said, "She just did me a favor. I have wanted to do that for a long time and didn't want to hurt her feelings. I have so much going on with me, and she just added to the madness. Being a club owner, I get calls from all types of people trying to use the club. Part promoters, event planners...I have lost too much business behind her craziness. She called and cursed out a lady that was trying to give her daughter a bridal shower on a Sunday afternoon. The club is closed to the public on Sunday, but I rent it out for private parties. By the time she finished with the lady I lost the party. the she had the nerve to accuse me of being with the lady...and that's just one occurrence. There have been many more. I have had enough." We went back and partied like nothing ever happened. I guess when you are fed up, nothing really matters anymore.

After the party, and I ended up having a ton of company staying over until Sunday morning. My man made breakfast for everyone, and we sent them on their way. I am still a little tired from the whole thing, but even with the little situation with Ambitious and his jealous chic, I had a good time.

Insecurtiy plays a big part in people's lives. How they look, how they act, how they dress, who they choose ot be in a relationship with...

Why are some people so insecure?

Why are some people reluctant to change self-destructive behavior? Do you think they really feel that it is okay?

Why do people mess up good relationships and then complain about being lonely?