Humbling Experience

I had an humbling experience this weekend. One of my childhood friends, that I am very close to(we went to the same school...church...college) is very sick. She lives in Houston now, so I don't see her like I see my other friends. But,she is one of the few people that I will sit and talk to on the phone often. She just got married a little over a year ago, and she and her husband are happy. She has no children, and according to what the doctors are saying at this point, she may not be around too much longer.

She called me a week ago, complaining about her leg and she said that she had a slight pain in her back. She said that it was hurting and beginning to swell a little. Not to the point of where it is noticeable to other people, but to the point where she noticed. I knew it had to be serious because my friend never complains about anything! I convinced her to go to the doctor(she has always been terrified of doctors). I had been calling for about 3 days with no response and I finally heard from her on Saturday. She was in the hospital here in Dallas. She found out that she has lupus, and will have to undergo dialysis 3 days a week. The disease has attacked both of her kidneys and her liver. The doctors don't know what caused the disease and said that she will not live long without a transplant. For those of you who have never experienced dialysis, it is something that I hope you will never have to go through, or see anyone else go through. She will also have to undergo chemotherapy. She and her husband are moving back home. She wants to be close to her family and friends. She thought enough of me to call me, even will she was feeling bad. Not because she wanted something from me. She called because she knew that she hadn't talked to me in a few days, and she knew that I would be worried about her. Despite all that she is going through, she was still thinking of me! That is amazing to me!

We are the same age, and she was just getting her life on track, and something like this happened. My friend is one of the most positive people that I have ever met. She has been through so much in her life. She overcame it all...graduated college and grad school...despite the fact that she was doing it with no financial support from anyone( my mother sent her care packages with a few extra dollars, but that was hardly enough to make ends meet for her). She did it all with a smile on her face. I have yet to hear her complain. I don't complain very much, I am normally the person that all of my friends vent to. But this is the one friend that I could talk to, and the whole conversation remained positive. That is so rare! She has a way of turning things around. Always looking at the brighter side of life. Even now when she is sick, all she keeps saying is, "I have lived a life of dreams and happiness. I have achieved many of my goals, married a man that I love, and I have had friends that are dear to me. What more can a girl ask for?" Even though today I am still a little sad for my friend, I am grateful that she is a part of my life. Her positive nature helped me early in the game...when I had a child...when I was in an abusive relationship...when I had given up on myself...it was her words that helped me through my self pity party and helped me to snap into reality. She helped me realize that even though I had people around me that cared about me very much, I ultimately had to take control of my own happiness!

I hate hospitals...the way they look....the way they smell...But I knew that I had to be there for my friend. When I walked into her room, she just smiled. She talked about her disease in such a positive manner. Even though I was prepared to cry, for some reason I couldn't. She didn't look like herself, and she had tubes all over the place, but she was still smiling like she always did.

I love my friend for so many obvious reasons, but most of all, for just being herself. Forever positive...forever moving forward...forever making things happen. I was prepared to stay with her as long a she needed me, but she refused to let me sit there with her. She said, please go enjoy the holiday weekend. If not for you, get a little sunshine for me. I don't want to see you again until Tuesday, and when I do, you better have a tan and a load of stories to tell me about the whole crew. I know how much you hate these places...I promised her that I wouldn't tell my other friends yet. She says that she is not ready for the dramatics...

I did enjoy my weekend. I am going to visit her for a little while today. I talked to her this morning, and all of this is taking a lot out of her, but I could tell that she was still smiling.

I didn't write this post to make anyone sad...my friend would NEVER want that, and even though I want to cry at this point, thoughts of her will not let me cry. This will be my first and last post about her...just because of how she is. She wouldn't want anyone to be feeling sorry for her, she would just say," I'll be fine...and how are you feeling?. "

I just wrote this to say....Surround yourself with positive people...Even if it is only ONE positive person. Keep them near and dear. Even though I don't know what may happen to my friend at this point, I know what she will doing...smiling through it all. I can hear her saying right now, "Girl, does this purse make me look fat?" She always had me in stitches. Happy for no reason at all...Happy just because she woke up.

There are no thought provoking questions today...Just positive thoughts of a positive person.