Just Be Real...
Why do people feel the need to be something that they are not?
As I mentioned in my post yesterday, my Boo's best friend's girl tries to make everyone happy...IMPOSSIBLE...She wants everyone to be friends, and tries to find a silver lining to every cloud. She brags about how she is not jealous. How she can handle anything. How she can get any man that she wants... I could see straight through her. She is a good person, with a good heart. But what is she covering?
My Boo's best friend is a clown. He jokes all the time. Sometimes it's cool, but he has been known to take a joke too far.
Yesterday evening, my Boo and I cooked dinner for his best friend and his girl. We all talked over dinner. As much as I didn't want to talk about it, I knew the events from the weekend would come up sooner or later. My Boo's best friend kept making cracks about it, but I wasn't laughing....My Boo was irritated by the whole scenario, so the debate began...
Boo: Hey man, that's enough?
Boo's BF: What? I heard your ex got knocked the F*** Out(imitating Smokey on Friday).
(I chuckeled a little to that...)
Boo: You're joking, but this is my life we're talking about here. Let it go.
(My Boo's BF saw that he wasn't playing, so he dropped it. His girl picked up where he left off)
BF's Girl: Well, I don't understand why you guys couldn't just talk it out. You stooped to her level. Fighting is so childish. If you are doing what you are supposed to in your relationship, you wouldn't have to fight. Maybe you felt like you were lacking something. Maybe you were lashing out at her because of your insecurities.
Me( Did she just say that? Breathe deeply...): Been there. Done that. Didn't work!...And I am very secure in my relationship. I fought her for disrespecting my home. At that point, it was about principle. It was a lesson she had to learn.
BF's Girl: I used to think you were so classy when I first me you. The way you carried yourself, the way you spoke. I thought it was nice.
Me( keep it togehter girl): I am the same woman. Circumstances have the ability to change the way a person acts.
BF's Girl: Nothing can change me.
Me: So you mean to tell me, if your man's ex walks into your house and tells you that she wants him, you would talk about it? Yeah right...
Boo(with a smirk): Maybe she can't fight..
BF: I don't know. I've never seen her throw down...
BF's Girl: I can fight...Believe me. I just think that violence is not the answer. Your man's Ex came by my office this morning, and I looked at her face, and it is ridiculous. I just feel like two grown women can find a better way. She said that she is going to leave it alone, but did it have to come to blows? I thought you were better than that!
Me: Nope guys, she can't fight...(Boo, BF , and I are laughing). Better than what?
BF Girl: No, I can fight, I just don't... Better than these ghetto a** women out there. You acted just like them.
Me: Call me what you want. I have more class than you will ever have. So don't hate. I refuse to be disrespected by anyone. That includes you...
My Boo looks at me to make sure that I am calm. I give a look that tells him I am cool. ( Am I that bad. I really do need to work on fighting. Every time I get upset with a woman, he looks to make sure that I am not about to throw blows. I fight, only when necessary. This was just a debate. I can handle my own in a conversation. I was just letting her get these things off her chest... He says to his boy, "Check your girl."
BF( in efforts to lighten then mood): Well, I have something that I need to get off my chest...
BF's Girl(w/ a curious look in her eyes and cracking voice): What?
BF: I have been seeing someone else for 3 months. This is just not working for me. You know...you and I.
BF's Girl: Who is she?
BF: It doesn't matter. You're not jealous, and you handle yourself with dignity. So why do you need to know? Your problem is with me. What? You want to call her and be friends.
BF Girl: I just want to call her and talk. Let her know the real deal.
ME: Uh huh...
BF: I just wanted to get it out there in the open. We would be the first people to know anyway. I have been wanting to tell you for a while now, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings. But now that I see that you can handle anything, and you don't let things get to you, I feel it's okay to let you know.
BF's Girl (yelling): I can't believe you would do something like this to me. When I find out who it is...It's gonna be on!
Then my Boo's best friend starts laughing uncontrollably and said, I was just playing baby, almost falling out of his chair. I could tell that his girl was about to cry, but he proved a good point. Stop faking and be real. I wanted to laugh too, but I didn't. My Boo...forever the sympathetic man that he is asked..."Are you okay?" What did he do that for? She ran out of the room and started to cry. We all got a good laugh in, even though I knew it was wrong, she had it coming.
I went into the front room where she was and talked to her. I said," Just be true to yourself. Stop trying to make people think you are perfect. Just be you. " She looked at men and said." I have been trying to make people happy for so long, I don't even know who I am anymore." I felt sad for her. I might get into a brawl every now and then but it's always necessary (LOL), and I stay true to me. I know who I am, and what I want. "It has to be a sad reality to not know yourself ." She said," No, I'm not sad." (Again, making excuses, and trying to control the situation). I looked at her, and she looked at me. I didn't say anything because it was her issue to deal with. I have enough going on with my friends and myself to add another one to the bunch. I just got up and went back into the dining room. She came back in and her man apologized. I'm glad my Boo doesn't do me l;ike that... Then she acted like nothing ever happened. Still trying to act like everything was perfect.
I must say, I feel sorry for her, but her issues are something that she will have to deal with on her own...I let her off this time, but she has one more time to say something crazy to me...and it's on! ( No, I'm not gonna fight her...I'll just have a lot more to say. I kept my cool very well this time, and I'm proud of myself.) I could see that she needs a serious reality check!
Do you know people who are fake? Who try to be something that they are not?
Do you know a perfectionist? Do things have to be the way they want them at all times?
As I mentioned in my post yesterday, my Boo's best friend's girl tries to make everyone happy...IMPOSSIBLE...She wants everyone to be friends, and tries to find a silver lining to every cloud. She brags about how she is not jealous. How she can handle anything. How she can get any man that she wants... I could see straight through her. She is a good person, with a good heart. But what is she covering?
My Boo's best friend is a clown. He jokes all the time. Sometimes it's cool, but he has been known to take a joke too far.
Yesterday evening, my Boo and I cooked dinner for his best friend and his girl. We all talked over dinner. As much as I didn't want to talk about it, I knew the events from the weekend would come up sooner or later. My Boo's best friend kept making cracks about it, but I wasn't laughing....My Boo was irritated by the whole scenario, so the debate began...
Boo: Hey man, that's enough?
Boo's BF: What? I heard your ex got knocked the F*** Out(imitating Smokey on Friday).
(I chuckeled a little to that...)
Boo: You're joking, but this is my life we're talking about here. Let it go.
(My Boo's BF saw that he wasn't playing, so he dropped it. His girl picked up where he left off)
BF's Girl: Well, I don't understand why you guys couldn't just talk it out. You stooped to her level. Fighting is so childish. If you are doing what you are supposed to in your relationship, you wouldn't have to fight. Maybe you felt like you were lacking something. Maybe you were lashing out at her because of your insecurities.
Me( Did she just say that? Breathe deeply...): Been there. Done that. Didn't work!...And I am very secure in my relationship. I fought her for disrespecting my home. At that point, it was about principle. It was a lesson she had to learn.
BF's Girl: I used to think you were so classy when I first me you. The way you carried yourself, the way you spoke. I thought it was nice.
Me( keep it togehter girl): I am the same woman. Circumstances have the ability to change the way a person acts.
BF's Girl: Nothing can change me.
Me: So you mean to tell me, if your man's ex walks into your house and tells you that she wants him, you would talk about it? Yeah right...
Boo(with a smirk): Maybe she can't fight..
BF: I don't know. I've never seen her throw down...
BF's Girl: I can fight...Believe me. I just think that violence is not the answer. Your man's Ex came by my office this morning, and I looked at her face, and it is ridiculous. I just feel like two grown women can find a better way. She said that she is going to leave it alone, but did it have to come to blows? I thought you were better than that!
Me: Nope guys, she can't fight...(Boo, BF , and I are laughing). Better than what?
BF Girl: No, I can fight, I just don't... Better than these ghetto a** women out there. You acted just like them.
Me: Call me what you want. I have more class than you will ever have. So don't hate. I refuse to be disrespected by anyone. That includes you...
My Boo looks at me to make sure that I am calm. I give a look that tells him I am cool. ( Am I that bad. I really do need to work on fighting. Every time I get upset with a woman, he looks to make sure that I am not about to throw blows. I fight, only when necessary. This was just a debate. I can handle my own in a conversation. I was just letting her get these things off her chest... He says to his boy, "Check your girl."
BF( in efforts to lighten then mood): Well, I have something that I need to get off my chest...
BF's Girl(w/ a curious look in her eyes and cracking voice): What?
BF: I have been seeing someone else for 3 months. This is just not working for me. You know...you and I.
BF's Girl: Who is she?
BF: It doesn't matter. You're not jealous, and you handle yourself with dignity. So why do you need to know? Your problem is with me. What? You want to call her and be friends.
BF Girl: I just want to call her and talk. Let her know the real deal.
ME: Uh huh...
BF: I just wanted to get it out there in the open. We would be the first people to know anyway. I have been wanting to tell you for a while now, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings. But now that I see that you can handle anything, and you don't let things get to you, I feel it's okay to let you know.
BF's Girl (yelling): I can't believe you would do something like this to me. When I find out who it is...It's gonna be on!
Then my Boo's best friend starts laughing uncontrollably and said, I was just playing baby, almost falling out of his chair. I could tell that his girl was about to cry, but he proved a good point. Stop faking and be real. I wanted to laugh too, but I didn't. My Boo...forever the sympathetic man that he is asked..."Are you okay?" What did he do that for? She ran out of the room and started to cry. We all got a good laugh in, even though I knew it was wrong, she had it coming.
I went into the front room where she was and talked to her. I said," Just be true to yourself. Stop trying to make people think you are perfect. Just be you. " She looked at men and said." I have been trying to make people happy for so long, I don't even know who I am anymore." I felt sad for her. I might get into a brawl every now and then but it's always necessary (LOL), and I stay true to me. I know who I am, and what I want. "It has to be a sad reality to not know yourself ." She said," No, I'm not sad." (Again, making excuses, and trying to control the situation). I looked at her, and she looked at me. I didn't say anything because it was her issue to deal with. I have enough going on with my friends and myself to add another one to the bunch. I just got up and went back into the dining room. She came back in and her man apologized. I'm glad my Boo doesn't do me l;ike that... Then she acted like nothing ever happened. Still trying to act like everything was perfect.
I must say, I feel sorry for her, but her issues are something that she will have to deal with on her own...I let her off this time, but she has one more time to say something crazy to me...and it's on! ( No, I'm not gonna fight her...I'll just have a lot more to say. I kept my cool very well this time, and I'm proud of myself.) I could see that she needs a serious reality check!
Do you know people who are fake? Who try to be something that they are not?
Do you know a perfectionist? Do things have to be the way they want them at all times?
posted by LUVIN ME @ 8:05 AM
11 Comments:
At 9:46 AM,
Newy said…
Do you know people who are fake? Who try to be something that they are not?
Do you know a perfectionist? Do things have to be the way they want them at all times?
Some people are control freaks and this usually is bred out of a some situation they had no control over : incest, molestation, rape, etc. so they try to put on a mask that says "I'm always in control." I used to be like that. Trying so hard to stay in control of everything that I would internalize my frustrations and blow up. I too had/have an anger management issue and had to go through anger management. I am alot better than I used to be but still not where I SHOULD be. And yes, it was born out of two situations where I had no control : rape and child molestation.
At 10:08 AM,
TTD said…
damn if she wasnt trying to disrespect you in your own home.. although her man was wrong for what he did... it proved her ass to stop being so fake.. she better take that lesson learned!!
i know fake people yes.. i've distanced myself from them.. "you aint gotta lie to kick it" - the truth always comes out!
At 10:55 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@mznewagenda...I'm sorry to hear that you went through some thing like that, but you are still standing, in spite of it all.
@ttd...I had a hard time not cursing her out, but I did it!
At 11:54 AM,
Ladynay said…
I can't say that I am not like your girl and prefer that everyone in my surrounding are okay and okay with everyone else. Yes it is impossible, but I can understand.
What I don't understand is her talking about how classy she THOUGHT you were and basically dissin' you at your own table. That's uncalled for, even if she is friends with the ex.
Given the context of the conversation you all where having, she should have known he was playing esp. if he is on joke time all the time.
At 1:00 PM,
LUVIN ME said…
@thoughts...yep it was silly.
@ladynay...in true perfectionists' fashion, she called me this morning to apologize.
At 1:10 PM,
N4R said…
Yo she had it coming...LOL
Let me find out you gonna be duking it out with everyone. That is hot - GIRL FIGHT!!!
At 9:44 PM,
Abeni said…
I find it funny that she couldn't see through that trick.Lol,the least she could have done was pretend to be cool with it until they were alone.
At 10:51 PM,
Darbs said…
I know fake people, but I don't socialize with them. I'm all about being real and being who you are...I respect people who do that much more than I do people who try to be something they are not. When people are fake around me, I sometimes view that as an insult as well...like, do you really think I'm the type of person that wouldn't talk to you/be friends with you if you didn't have X,Y, or Z?
I know a perfectionist...me. I don't think that I'M perfect, but used to prefer for things around me to be as perfect as possible. It has been a huge fault of mine and I am quickly learning that I am not in control of every situation. It is a hard reality to face, but it's making me a more patient, accepting and stress free person. My issues with control have come from pressure that was put on me when I was younger...to be the best and the brightest (long story which I'm sure I'll post one day).
At 11:06 PM,
4GOTTEN1 said…
Yeah i am a bit of a perfectionist everything has to be my way or no way at all.
At 1:36 AM,
Superstar Nic said…
Yes, I know people that fit into each of those categories. Like you said though, it is impossible to please everyone. It just can't happen because no matter how hard you try there is always going to be that one person that still does not like what you've done.
At 7:58 AM,
Ladynay said…
Pardon me, just testing blogger....
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