You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea...

I believe that people can only teach what they know. How can a person give advise on something that they have never experienced? One of my main reasons for blogging, is it obtain true un-biased opinions on the situations going on in my life, from people who don't know me personally. That way, my personal relationship with them does not affect the opinions I receive.

But, on with the drama for the day....

I have a good friend. She is not in my circle of friends because they do not get along with her. They are exact opposites. They are Saks, she is Walmart. But she has been my friend for a long time, so I hang out with her from time to time. I hadn't seen her in a long time, and she had not met my Boo yet, so we decided that she and her male friend would meet my Boo and I for dinner last night after my teen session.

We met at a nice little restaurant close to my house. My friend is a cute girl, just a little rough around the edges. She speaks her mind, and doesn't care what people think of her. She lacks the polishing of a lady, but she can hold her own. Her friend was really nice...well spoken, handsome, built nicely, and well dressed. She was impressed with my Boo as well. We had dinner and laughed it up for about 3 hours.

We went our separate ways...then, she called me when I got home. She told me how she had just broken up with her boyfriend, and this man came in and swept her off her feet. She was bragging about the guy she was seeing. I listened. Then she started asking questions about my Boo. I answered, but every time I said something about him, she tried to say something better about her friend. After I realized the direction the conversation was going, I decided to put a little twist on it. I asked if she and her friend were in a relationship, or if they were just dating. She said that she sees him often, but they are just dating.

Then the truth came out. Normally when a person brags on their mate like that, they are covering an emotional void within themselves, or the person they are seeing. She said that she had to practically beg him to meet us for dinner. She said that he only spends the night on Monday or Tuesday, never the weekend. He likes to have lunch with her on the other days, never dinner. On the days that he spends the night with her, he always leaves in the early the next morning, in the same gym clothes every time. Strange Huh? He told her in the beginning, that he was looking for love. They have been dating for a while, and every time she talks about a relationship, he starts to get antsy, or avoid the conversation all together. She said he leaves his cell phone in his car when they are together. Hmmm...

My question to her of course was, did you talk to him about it. She said, "I afraid that if I tell him what I feel, he'll feel like I'm being jealous and just I will lose him." Then I countered with, " From what you're saying, it sounds like you don't have him. It sounds to me like he is either married or involved in another relationship."

She didn't take that comment well at all. She goes off on me about how I think I'm in this perfect relationship when in fact, my Boo may be the one cheating. I could have gotten mad at her and went along with the whole charade but with my quick wit and razor tongue I said," I know where my man is every night...do you? If he is in fact yours?" She stopped talking. She, as all of my other friends know that once I get started, it's over. Words can cut like a knife, and I carry a machete at all times.

I am not a relationship expert. I just work to make MY relationship the best it can be. I tend not to give relationship advise to friends. I told her, as I would have told any of my friends, to go with her gut feeling. No one knows that man like she does, because she is the one who has been with him. Do what she felt was right for her situation. I got off the phone, took a shower, and took care of my own business that had just gotten out of the shower and was lying across my bed...

Why is it that we think that the cure for losing a mate is gaining another?

If you are broken, and haven't had time to heal, is it fair to bring those feelings into a new relationship?

Is the new relationship then one of dependency and convenience, or could you truly fall in love with the new person because you feel like they can "take away the hurt?"