Be Careful What You Wish For...

I thought it was a match made in heaven. A story that started even too good to be a fairy tale. It was my real life fairy tale, and I was living it!

For most people, there is that one relationship in your life that changes you forever. It can either be one that will be lifelong and result in marriage. It can be your one true love;the one you never forget. Or it can be a disaster and affect the way you are for the rest of your life.

I used to date this guy. He was older than I was. He was a doctor. I, unlike most women, was not impressed by his status. I just knew that the title came with responsibity and long hours at work. I have always had the philosophy that nice things only mean Big Bills...

I have always been driven. I was determined to be independant. I moved out of my parents house at 17, had a kid at 18, and in the same year, started my first year of college. I was determined to rise above what society thought I was destined to be...a failure. My daughter's dad went off to college in another state, so we had very little contact when she was young (some weekends and holidays). I was forced to raise her alone. Working, going to school, and being a mom. That was a rough time in my life that helped to mold me into the woman I am today. But I would soon find out that a tougher time would come.

I met this doctor, and to me, he was wonderful...at first. We traveled the world. I have been to many foreign places, and seen many things, all because of him. He wanted me to experience the best, and for him, I would do anything. I lost myself in him. I allowed what he wanted for me to become my reality. With him, I bought my first home at 20 (had my name on it, but his money went into it). We agreed to live together for a year to see how things worked out, and then we would get married if things were great. It was a very nice place. Large rooms, big yard, pool, 4500 sq ft of living space, and I thought I was in heaven. I was the envy of all of my friends. We had lavish parties. He gave me everything I wanted. He came from 'old money' so with him, money was not an issue. Then all of a sudden, things started to crumble...

He came home one day with a very strange look on his face. He was talking on the phone, and he was very angry, but he wouldn't tell me what was going on. He did not say a word to me that day, and everything went downhill form there. I kept thinking, what in world could make a man act this way, and then shut out the person he was supposed to love. He came to me the next day and told me that he just found out he had a son. He had taken a DNA test, and the child was in fact his. The mother called him and told him that she was tired of raising a kid alone, and she wanted him to take the child. He was willing to help her take care of him, but could not handle the full task of taking care of his son. I assured him that everything would be okay.

His son's mom dropped the kid off...6 years old...on a Monday, and little did we know that was last we would see of her...I thought to myself, how could a mother abandon her child? I had no idea what I had in store, but like most situations ,I tried to tackle it positively.

I was doing fine with the child for a whole year (still not married to this man), but then I realized something. This little boy was with ME all the time. Where in the heck were his parents. While I am taking care of this little boy, and my daughter, his parents are living their lives as if they don't have a child. I sat his father down to discuss this, and he got very angry. He told that he made me what I was, and if I wanted to maintain the lifestyle that I was living, I would take care of his son like he was my own. The words rang over and over in my head..."I MADE YOU!" I was now upset. I told him that I had grown to love this child, but I was not this little boy's mother, and he needed to spend time with his son, so that he could have at least have one of his parents. He was not hearing it.

A few days later, at the beginning of summer, he sent his son to stay with his parents for two weeks, to get to know them. My daughter went away to stay with her dad for a week. I had a free week to myself, and was very excited. Little did I know, my life would be changed forever.

He came home on a Friday evening. I will never forget the look in his eyes. He was drunk(and he never drank), and I was nervous. He said that he had thought of some of the things that I said to him about his son, and it was true. He needed to be there. Then he looked me in my eyes and said with a smile on his face, if I ever left him and his son, he would kill me. I was like, "What", and he repeated it. He told me that he needed me and could not live without me, and since he couldn't live without me, I would literally die without him.

As you could expect, I was very shaken up. I couldn't sleep. I had to get out of there. I got up the next morning, took a shower, and attempted to leave. He wanted to know where I was going. I told him, to the mall, but I knew that I had no intention on retuning. I guess he knew what I was thinking. I got in my car and attempted to crank it, but it wouldn't budge (Later I found out that he had removed the spark plugs). I went back inside and he was sitting on the couch smiling at me with this evil grin. The he said, I told you you can't leave me, EVER! I froze for a moment, then I reached for the phone, no dial tone. I attempted to use my cell phone, but the battery had been removed. It was at that point that I realized that I was in love with a nutcase! He then started to laugh and said, "You thought I was going to let you get away that easily? You thought I was playing with you?" I was so scared. I just sat there, crying and praying that this man would not kill me.

He pulled his gun out of his pocket and placed it on the table between us, and started to play with the trigger. He pointed it at me, and then himself. He did that over and over as if it was some sort of game. Then for the first time ever, he just hauled off and punched me in my chest. I was gasping for air, too much in shock to scream, and fearing for my life. He continues to hit me, over and over. Then when I hit the floor, he kicks me. Stomps me like I am a dog. I and am so afaid that the gun that he is still holding in his hand will go off. He beat the h### out of me, and for no reason. He doesn't speak. He just laughs, and I cry. This continues for two days. My famly is worried, they send police to my house. But they never attempt to come in. With each ringing of the doorbell and knock on the door, he holds the gun to my head, daring me to move or make a sound. I wish I could get out of here. When I move, he moves with me. When I sleep, he sleeps. When I wake up, he gets up. I am trapped.

I was saved by his mother...She called him on his cell phone to tell him that his father had just suffered a heart attack and she needs him to come to the hospital. I don't know if it was lack of sleep or what, but he just got up, and left. He put the gun down and walked out the door, got in his car, and left.

After I realized that he was gone, and not coming right back, I ran to my neighbor's house and called my parents and the police. I looked terrible. I had 3 cracked ribs, and I was bruised and beaten mercilessly. I spent 2 weeks in the hosital after it was all over. I feared that he would come, and try to kill me there. All he had to do was slip something into my IV , and I was gone. But he never came. After that I lived in fear for 2 years. Feared that he would come. Feared that I would die. But he never came. That is a terrible way to live. Every birthday he sent a card and flowers for me to my parents' house, and for my daughter, a gift, but still... he never came.

I left that house with only the clothes that I had on, and never looked back. I was ready for anything at that point. Surprisingly, he had all of my things(and my daughter's) packed into a U Haul truck and parked in front of my parents' home.

Two weeks later he was killed. I don't know who, I don't know why. But he is gone. I don't know if I was happy or sad, all I knew was I was no longer scared.
I got the house(one that I could no longer set foot into),the cars, the money in the bank accounts, all because they still beared my name. I sold everything. His son and family got everything else. I was just happy that the little boy would be taken care of.

That was an experience that took me so long to get over, but one I will never forget. When we wish for the "good life", it comes in all sort of packages. I may have thought I had eveything...money...house...cars...those were just THINGS. For those things, I almost lost the most vauable thing to me, my life.