Sex or Love? Which Comes First?

I am the type of person who always tries to have a plan for everything. Well, love is just one of those things that you just can plan for. I have been trying to avoid it. Trying not complicate my life right now, but just when I thought I got away, BAM, it hit me right in the face!

This weekend I went on a rendezvous with my "sex buddy". Up until this point we have chosen to block out emotions and just settle for good, back-breaking, pillow biting, sex. He comes by my house like a thief in the night, hits it,and is out before my daughter wakes up in the morning(house rules)!

We haven't gone on a 'date'in about a year, so we decided to do it since neither of us had weekend plans, and my daughter was spending the weekend with her dad. On Friday,we went to this nice little jazzy spot that we had both been dying to check out. The atomsphere was relaxed, it's a nice place to take a date. We went back to my place, and you know what happened from there! I woke up in the middle of the night stunned by this warm body still laying next to me. I nudged him, and instead of leaving, he moved closer and held me. Now this was awkward. Was he staying? I didn't press the issue, I just rolled over and went to back to sleep.

I got up the next morning, and to my surprise, he had already gotten up, taken shower, and was making breakfast. He has everything he needs at my house (toiletries, undergarmets,etc.), at this time, he is the only guy that I am sleeping with... He had been in my house several times, but never like this. I was enjoying him, so I was still silent. I brushed my teeth and jumped in the shower. I slipped on some sweats and pulled my hair into a pontail. I had planned on shopping with my girls, but this distraction was nice, but what would hapend next? Should I cancel my plans? There I go again, trying to plan ahead. I can't be spontaneous to save my life!

We sat down and enjoyed breakfast. The boy can cook! Who knew? After that, we decided that we would spend the day shopping. He went home and got some clothes and then we were off! We had a really great time. We went out to dinner, and decided to make it a Blockbuster night. It was nice. We talked over dinner, and I realized how much we actaully have in common. Normally our conversations are very brief, but now I was actaully interested in hearing what he had to say. This guy is brilliant. As I sat there and looked and his cafe au lait skin(as smooth as chocolate) and gazed into his hazel eyes, I wondered, "where have you been hiding?" I couldn't help but wonder if what I was feeling was real, or was it just a result of good sex?

But anyway, we woke up on Sunday morning, and I decided against going to church. He took me out to his house on the lake, again I say, Who knew? He cooked for me, then we went on a walk near the lake. We actually spent hours just talking. We are so much alike it it crazy! He turned to me to me, looked me in the eyes, and told me that he that he loved me. He told me that he has loved me for quite some time, and was just giving the space that I needed. By now, I have to pick my bottom jaw up off the floor and take a deep breath. I didn't say anything. I just sat there speechless for a moment trying to absorb what was just said to me. he said that he didn't mind that I didn't say it back. Like he had done before, he was giving me time to make my mind up for myself. He was always a gentleman. He respected my wishes. Later that evening, we had the best sex that we had ever had in our almost two years of seeing each other. Was it because I now knew that he loved me? Was this the start of an intimate raltionship? Does intimacy bring about better sexual experiences?

He is gorgeous! He is very successful. He has his sh** straight. Good credit. No kids! Nice house! Has pretty good family values. And he is mentally stable! And most importantly, he loves me. He vowed to spend his time proving it to me, rather than just saying it. He said it had been there all along, I was just in denial, and was afraid of getting hurt. He said that he wants to be a part of my life, and my daughter's life! That's a big step. Even though I am always skeptical, and I try to keep my emotions in check, it would be nice to be in love. I have a lot of thinking to do. So my question for the day is, can love come after sex? or does it have to be the other way around?