He Knows My Secret...
On with the drama of the day!
I have a friend that has been dating this guy for a year. Their relationship just got very serious and they are planning to get married early next year. They met in college. She opted to go out of state and he lived in the area where she went to college. Her man's family is a bit dysfunctional, so he was hesitant about taking her to meet them. For the first time this past weekend, he took her out of town to meet his family. He talks to her all the time about how terrible his brothers are and how scandalous his mom and sisters are. He loves them, but he moved to get away from all the drama. He says that he is happy that he finally found someone that is real with him, and that he can trust, and he wants to start his own family with her.
My friend was having dinner with his family. She says, as they were eating in walks two of his brothers, and she froze. She couldn't breathe for a moment. His brother immediately recognized her, but didn't say a word. Her man introduced his brothers to her. Little did he know that she and one of his brother knew each other ...Very well. His brother used to be a bouncer at the club where she used to dance, her first two years of college. She used to do "favors" for him, and her would give her all kinds of things. Since then, she has turned her life around, and met the man of her dreams. The brothers look nothing alike, and they had two different last names, so she never associated the two together. They fished out the weekend, and she was on pins and needles until they got home.
So now she has a big problem on her hands. She still has not told her man about the situation. He has no clue that she used to strip, and he still does not know that she knows, and has slept with his brother on several occasions. He has noticed that she has been acting funny, but he just thinks that it was because she did not approve of the way his family lives. She called to me ask what she should do. I have no clue. If she tells him, she fears that he may never talk to her again, and call off the wedding. If she doesn't tell him, she feels that his brother may say something to him about it.
What do you think?
Would you want to be with someone who has slept with one of your siblings, even if they didn't know?
Do you think that love is really able to withstand all things, or are there exceptions to the rules?
I have a friend that has been dating this guy for a year. Their relationship just got very serious and they are planning to get married early next year. They met in college. She opted to go out of state and he lived in the area where she went to college. Her man's family is a bit dysfunctional, so he was hesitant about taking her to meet them. For the first time this past weekend, he took her out of town to meet his family. He talks to her all the time about how terrible his brothers are and how scandalous his mom and sisters are. He loves them, but he moved to get away from all the drama. He says that he is happy that he finally found someone that is real with him, and that he can trust, and he wants to start his own family with her.
My friend was having dinner with his family. She says, as they were eating in walks two of his brothers, and she froze. She couldn't breathe for a moment. His brother immediately recognized her, but didn't say a word. Her man introduced his brothers to her. Little did he know that she and one of his brother knew each other ...Very well. His brother used to be a bouncer at the club where she used to dance, her first two years of college. She used to do "favors" for him, and her would give her all kinds of things. Since then, she has turned her life around, and met the man of her dreams. The brothers look nothing alike, and they had two different last names, so she never associated the two together. They fished out the weekend, and she was on pins and needles until they got home.
So now she has a big problem on her hands. She still has not told her man about the situation. He has no clue that she used to strip, and he still does not know that she knows, and has slept with his brother on several occasions. He has noticed that she has been acting funny, but he just thinks that it was because she did not approve of the way his family lives. She called to me ask what she should do. I have no clue. If she tells him, she fears that he may never talk to her again, and call off the wedding. If she doesn't tell him, she feels that his brother may say something to him about it.
What do you think?
Would you want to be with someone who has slept with one of your siblings, even if they didn't know?
Do you think that love is really able to withstand all things, or are there exceptions to the rules?
posted by LUVIN ME @ 8:25 AM
15 Comments:
At 10:53 AM,
Darbs said…
Wow...this is almost unbelievable!!!
If she asked my advice, I would definitely encourage her to be honest. You CANNOT begin a relationship/marriage with dishonesty without it continuing that way (you'll have to lie to cover up a lie to cover up a lie...). And I would definitely insist that she tells him BEFORE his brother does...cause you never know how he's gonna spin it and if her man is going to assume that she was going to try to withhold that info from him.
I understand the risk of losing him, but I would much rather lose someone for telling the truth than for lying. The fact of the matter is, she didn't know they were brothers and that was a past life.
I do believe that love can conquer all, depending on the individual and what they can or cannot accept.
If I had a healthy and happy relationship with my sibling and we saw each other often, I don't think I could date anyone that they slept with. However, it doesn't seem like your girl and her man are going to see much of his brother (based on her man's relationship with his family), so in theory...they should be able to work this out.
You'll have to keep us posted...this is a MESS!
At 11:00 AM,
TTD said…
damn.. i dunno!
on 1 hand i'm like tell him b/c you dont want it to come out later and he feel as though he cant trust her
on the other hand im like, you better contact the brother & make an agreement to keep the "secret" b/w the 2 of them..
im like this... if they're really meant to be.. she should tell him and love will conquer all..
At 11:26 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@darbs...I'll be sure to keep you guys posted. I didn't even know taht she was a stripper in the past until she told me about this situation...You think you know people!
@ttd...I hope they make it.
At 12:16 PM,
Msnhim said…
Holly Crap!!! Thats crazy. I would tell him. Better he hear it from her than from his brother. If he really loves her they should be abel to get past this.
At 1:23 PM,
NegroPino™ said…
I say tell him before he does......but hopefully he doesnt fault her for sum'n that happened when she was younger and she didnt know that his brother....I know it would be awkward at first...but if they really love each other they will work it out
At 3:02 PM,
LUVIN ME said…
@msnhim...Yep, it's carzy!
@sangroncito...I don't know what to tell her.
@ms new booty...Awkward indeed.
@southern gal...I was thinking the same thing the other...maybe I should go back to school to be a therapist...People with drama seem to gravitate towards me...I think I missed my calling! Maybe I should write about it...Memoirs of Luvin Me. LOL!
@Dee...I didn't think of that. Maybe he knows and he's just waiting to see if she will come clean...Oh my!
At 9:05 PM,
feels good b n FREE said…
i kinda agree with ttd...
but i think i would just be honest and see from there.
At 2:49 PM,
Freaky Deaky said…
There's an exception to every rule. She needs to confess everything to him a.s.a.p. Dysfunctional or not the brothers are still family and it will come out.
Sure your friend was a stripper and messed around with her man's brother in the past. However, she omitted the fact that she had been a stripper, the things she did while a stripper, and now that she knows she was with his brother she's omitting that little tidbit as well.
It's not just about her. Yeah, she runs the risk of losing him. However, once you get into a relationship it is no longer all about you and all about what you want. I don't think this relationship will last much longer after the man finds out. I don't believe love conquers all and I don't think your friend does either. If she did she would've given her future husband full disclosure on her sordid past long before this became a problem. After all your past is part of what makes you who you are. If you're hiding your past, you're hiding yourself. You end up having someone in love with who he thinks you are instead of who you actually are.
She needs to come clean and own up to her past from this day forward with anyone she tries to get into a serious relationship with.
At 10:28 PM,
TrinaBeingTrina said…
I know the right thing to do is tell the truth but I know me, and I would contact the brother and make a promise that we never tell him. I know that sounds crazy as hell but truth is men are not as understanding as women are. Not all men but I think most men. Not only that but it is an ego thing. How many men would be ok with marrying a woman that used to strip and sleep with his BROTHER. You never want someone that close to you to be able to look at your woman and know about her "goodies". Then if he is the jealous type if they are ever around each other at a family function or whatever, he will always be watching them to see if maybe they are flirting. In the back of his mind he will always be thinking it could be something more going on.
Then on the other hand if it comes out after they are married it will definitely be over with.
At 5:56 PM,
Superstar Nic said…
Dang! That sounds like a real problem. I would be so nervous if I were her. I feel bad for her really.
Honestly is really the best policy, but I could not imagine being in her shoes having to risk my relationship with the man I’m about to marry. Wow!!!
I would not want to be with someone that had slept with one of my siblings.
At 6:53 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 9:25 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
@Everyone...I talked to my friend over the weekend. She told her husband-to -be the truth. They are still together FOR NOW...
At 10:24 AM,
Newy said…
Girl *smh* drama dram drma...good thing -she told him
bad thing - it may become one of those missles hurled during an argument "At least I didn't lie to you" or "You slept with my brother" I hope he has truly forgiven her and move on...
At 3:38 PM,
~HoustonNY~ said…
I hope it works out for them. I am glad that she told him. Sh*t like that could slip out at a crazy an inopportune time. If their relationship is solid then there should be no problem.
I also think that he should have a chat with his brother about the situation. Not so much to verify stories but to just make sure that everything is ok, even if they don't really get along.
At 7:17 AM,
LUVIN ME said…
Then whole situation was a little crazy...but I'm glad she got it off her chest. She says she has no regrets about telling him...
Post a Comment
<< Home